are you romanticising your life with God?

hey homegirls! in this episode, i’m talking about what it really means to live a life with God at the centre – not just during highs but in the everyday moments. 

it’s about making Him your lifestyle, above all the noise.

here’s what i talk on:

• keeping God in focus daily – meditating on Him above sin, idols, and worries
• learning how to enjoy God’s presence even when life feels ordinary
• shifting from surface-level faith to one that’s consistent and rooted in trust

if you’ve ever struggled with keeping God first amidst life’s distractions, this one’s for you. 

and if you're someone who needs to develop that powerful commitment beyond motivation, i pray this helps you to develop a better perspective and foundation 💗

Transcript

0:10

Hey, my beautiful home girls. I am back with another episode. I am excited and to be honest, I am actually quite tired. I'm excited, but I'm tired. But to be honest, podcasting, I can do tired because it's like a chill chat with a friend. I can just, you know, unwind. One of my friends asked me last week if I would ever consider doing video podcasts. And I know that that's the way that the world is going. Like, I have been a youtuber for numerous years and I get it. Visuals are everything. You guys probably want to see my face right now. To be honest, today I am probably camera worthy. Other days, absolutely not. Most of the time, I have my bonnet on. I'm in my pajamas. It's not looking great. And that's why I like to do audio. Like, I understand that's the way the world's going. And I'll never say never because who knows? I might suddenly turn around and wanna do a video podcast where you guys see my face and I upload it to YouTube. I have like, little clips go out, but as of right now, I'm really enjoying the comfort and the low maintenance of it. I love TikTok and I'm actually really enjoying it. Recently, I've been posting pretty much every day for well over a month now. And I just like it because it's like, put the camera up, film, you don't need to worry about lighting. Nothing really. It's quite low maintenance. Editing takes seconds. It's not a big deal. And that's a massive transition from when I used to do YouTube where everything was high maintenance, everything needed to be polished, everything needed to sound good, look good, good lighting. I needed to look good, girl. And maybe you guys might say, oh, you don't need to do that. And I probably would say that to someone else as well. Like, if someone start YouTube and they're like, oh, like, it's all of this and blah, blah, blah, I'd be like, don't worry about that. Like, it's fine. No one's judging you. Go on, be authentic. Be you. But I don't know, I personally, I like having a well put together, professional backdrop for my YouTube. I like to have the good lighting. I want to have the good audio because I've, you know, when you do YouTube for so many years, which I have, you've had so, like, you would have experienced so many ups and downs in the sense of like, oh, the lighting in this video wasn't great or the camera wasn't focused. Funnily, enough, the one video that I did that started off me going viral on YouTube, like, way back in the day, was actually a video that I didn't want to post because it was slightly out of focus and literally my friend and my mum had to, like, convince me and beg me to, like, post it anyway. So imagine if I didn't. So these things really don't matter. But I'm a perfectionist, and YouTube brings that side out of me. And just in general, if you want a really well put together YouTube video well optimized to reach the right people, you have the thumbnail, you then have to edit. Like, podcast wise, you have to edit the audio and the video. It's just. It's just long. Then you got to upload on different platforms. Maybe when I can hire someone to do it for me, or maybe once I am a full time content creator and I have all the time in the world, I want to do it. But as of right now, working a full time job and squeezing in time that I can do a podcast, a thought of setting myself up, setting the camera up, the microphone up, my back drop, right. I just don't know if it's feasible. So you guys are just gonna have to firm it with my voice. Like, I hope that I've got the acoustics for a podcast, a solely audio podcast. I know that I'm pretty. I know that you guys want to see my face. I am the epitome of a person created in the image and likeness of God. But you're gonna have to just enjoy my voice for the time being. But speaking of TikTok, if you guys don't follow me over on TikTok, definitely do. I'm posting on there very frequently, as well as my podcast Instagram account. The less of me podcast. All the links will be down below. I'm trying to be better with that because I pretty much let that account die. And I feel bad because I want to update you guys when I post a new episode. You guys can also follow me on my personal Instagram if you want. For me, my personal Instagram, I know that a lot of people, like, I get it. Like, I'm a marketer. I know that having a personal brand is really important. I know that using your Instagram under your name is important, like, posting, but I just. I. I am breaking away from that for me personally, because I really enjoy Instagram as, like, a photo album, low maintenance place. Like, I don't care if my main Instagram has followers for me. Like, I've even thought about making it private. Not because I don't want you guys to see, like, my life or anything, but because I genuinely just see it as, like, I'm having fun. I'll post what I want to post. If I don't post anything for ages, it's fine. I kind of want to detach. Like, even though I know everything's a ministry, because I'll be the first one to say it. But, like, working ministry, content creation, that whole thing. Like, I work in marketing, my calling for what I feel like God has led me to with sharing his word is online. I am online at all times, and I'm online at all times for a purpose. And I know that all life is purpose. Like, we could get very philosophical about this, but I kind of just want to have fun on Instagram. So that's what my main account is. Feel free to follow me on there. I post selfies every now and then. I post pictures of my friends in the office and dogs in the office, and sunsets and my boyfriend and food. It's that type of vibe. So one day I might use it for more than it is, but as of right now, it does not have much value. It's more for me. But if you want the hardcore stuff, if you want past led, and not just like, I take pictures of my food led, head over to the less of me podcast, Instagram and ledechristina on TikTok. Because that's where you're going to really get to see the whole shebang happen. That's where you're going to get to see God really speaking to me and through me. And since I am shamelessly plugging myself, I know that people do it and they need to start doing it myself because it is important. Can I ask you guys a big favor? Wherever you're listening to this podcast, can you rate this podcast five stars? And if you are on Apple Podcasts, it would literally make my day. If you made a review five star it make a review five star on other platforms, it really helps push out my podcast because podcasts are one of those quite difficult things to reach more people. Because unless people are searching for something that's in relation to the episode title, certain things in description, yada, yada, yada, it's not like a for you page where it will just come up and then it means that my podcast might not be reaching the people that God wants it to reach. That's a little bit of a shameless plug by me. But yeah, it would really make my day if you guys could do that. But getting on to the meaty part of this episode, and this is the episode because your girl likes long introductions, and I think everyone likes long introductions. Like, well, it's not YouTube. That. That's another thing about YouTube because I feel inclined. I need to go straight into, like, what I'm talking about. But I like to talk, and sometimes I just want to talk about random stuff. I'll get to the point eventually, but I'm building rapport with you guys. Like, if I just went straight into the preach, you wouldn't really get to know more about me, you know, what else can you get to know about me? I went to Ikea today and that was fun. My mum is doing up the sitting room. We have a really big living room that has a dining room table in, but it's not cozy, and we love a cozy room. Like, I feel like when I'm in the other room, I'm sat in an auditorium that is really airy and hard to heat up and it echoes. Whereas if we have a little small room with a nice rug, tv, plants, shelving with some nice decorations, cute little lamp, you know, that type of vibe, nice sofa, footrest, that type of thing. And especially because it's coming up to Christmas and winter, I would love a nice, cozy room to come home to. So we've been doing that today, which has been actually quite fun. But that's why I said I was tired because I had been working all day. Then I was on my feet in Ikea. But nothing energizes me like the word. So we're gonna get straight into it. This episode is titled romanticizing your godly life, or something along those lines. That's what I have written down in my notes. I might have named it something different as to what you're reading, but that's the preface of this episode, and it's something that's come to my head because I'm experiencing that right now. And it kind of reminds me of when Letitia Wright said, I fell in love with Jesus and everyone did the sound about it. And it's just like this whole lifestyle that Jesus can give you and you can have with God that is just like, for me, the core of our faith. We could talk about discipleship, we could talk about ministry. We could talk about using our spiritual gifts. But if you don't have that foundation of, like, my life is literally encapsulated by the love I have for Christ. Because he first loved me, none of the other stuff will flow. And I've been in like, hundreds of ups and downs with God. I have had hundreds of seasons of, like, dry seasons, seasons where I feel like I'm in a rut. Seasons wherever I. I feel like I'm taking one step forward and a hundred steps back. Times where I'm finding it really hard to pick up my word. But recently, I don't know what's happened, but my faith in Christ. There's been times where I've read my bible more like as in depth, and I will always be grateful for those times. But since getting out of that scenario where I wasn't working, I didn't have a job, I almost envied that time of my life and then didn't find a way to adjust my life accordingly, where I could still have that life because that life was a life that reflected Christ. Yes, I was in my word all the time. Yes, I had all the time in the world because it was locked down. I was jobless, I was unemployed. But it's the heart behind it that matters. And for me, I felt like until I had all that time in the world, which is not really ever gonna happen, like, unless the only time that I can think that that will be the case is when I'm on maternity leave and I'll have a baby. So I won't even have all the time in the world. I'll probably be even busier than if I was at work because you've got a crying baby and your baby doesn't sleep. So I would have to wait till I retire until I get that amount of time with God again. So that was a real struggle for me to try to get into this life where I feel like every waking moment is just seasoned with God's love, seasoned with God's wisdom, seasoned with an understanding of his grace and his sacrifice for me, and also what my life means when I reflect on the resurrection and the new covenant and the new relationship and the redemption that I have in Christ, I want that to be what fuels me. I want that to be what wakes me up in the morning. I want that to be my thought in the morning and my thought when I go to bed. And don't get me wrong, I've had periods of time where I have felt really connected with God, but I don't think that I'd created enough of a habit. Like, we all get ups and downs. It's like when, like, you start going to the gym again, but you might not continue going to the gym because you've not mentally created a mindset and a determination that gets you over that hump of motivation, because motivation gets you in the gym, but discipline keeps you there. Determination keeps you there. Motivation will get me in my word. But when that motivation passes, like, for me, it's like, I don't know, something hard has happened and I need to, like, get in my word. Like it's prompted me to read my Bible. Now I'm out of that hard season and all of a sudden I forget about God. Or I'm in a really good season where like, I'm feeling very thankful and grateful and I'm in my word and then something happens and then I'm on a dip, and all of a sudden I dip from God and I ain't talked to him in three weeks. That's because I've not created a sustainable relationship with God. That regardless of the season, regardless of the time, regardless of the situation, regardless of what is happening in my life, what schedule is happening in my life, I seek the Lord first and I can see that he is relevant in any season. And recently I've been feeling like I've. I'm getting to that point. And that's not to say that I'll never have a dip again because that would be the stupidest thing for me to say. And in my opinion, the most arrogant thing of me to say, because I am a human who is not God. So I will have times where I'll doubt God. I'm sure that will happen again. But there's a foundation that I can build and there's a seed that I can sow that if times get rocky, I can snap out of that and I can remind myself to get back into the sustainable relationship that I'm cultivating with the Lord. But what I just said about those periods of time where I feel like I'm down, it is so normal these days that I scroll through TikTok or I talk to people or people message me, you know, after me advice in growing their relationship with God. And by the way, if you ever do want advice from me, I am trying to be better with my replies. But one place that I'm not good at replies is TikTok. And a few people have been sending me DM's on there and I will get better. But if you listen to the podcast, I would love if my main place of receiving DM's was the less of me podcast Instagram, just because it's more curated my personal Instagram. I check my requests every now and then. But like, if I'm honest, as I said that Instagram is like friends. So it is clogged with every single one of my friends sending me reels and me sending every single one of my friends reels. So it's not really being used for that type of stuff. Like, it is literally just me sending my friend, like, this stupid video of this baby, you know, like, so it would really help if you guys did want advice. I want you to ask that that is the place. But if you message me anywhere else, I will still try and get around to it. But in a lot of these messages, I see the same reoccurring theme where people are Ella Dee, I really need your advice. And it all is down to 99% of the time, a dip or concern for a dip in their relationship with God. Oh, I feel like I'm not connected with God right now, or I'm trying to seek God, but I'm really worried that I'm going to go back into how I was before. I'm going to let the depression and overwhelm me. I'm going to go back to that guy. I'm going to then forget what the word says about me. And it's that constant thing to be in a rut with God or just get caught up in life, in sins, in thoughts that aren't glorifying God, in behaviors that don't glorify God. And don't get me wrong, I'm talking about romanticizing. And that can seem like a really surface level way to handle your relationship with God, which it isn't because I'm about to get into that girl, don't you worry. But I will preface that there are a lot of things potentially in people's lives that are deep rooted problems that need to be sorted out, that need to be spoken through, that needs to be heavily prayed about, that need to be decreed and declared out of your life, cast back to where it came from, the devil. And you need to get around counsel. Maybe you need therapy. Maybe you need your pastor to be giving you some counseling. Maybe you need your friends to get around you and to really support you in practical ways. Maybe you need to make friends. I just did a TED talk about that, about how I think as believers, a lot of us either started our journey or are still in that period of our journey where we feel like we can do it all on our own. But that's not how it works. And a lot of deep rooted problems can be solved with having community, because a lot of deep rooted problems come from the problem of loneliness. So I'm not ignoring potential problems that might cause a distance from God or might cause you not getting close to God in the first place. I don't know where a lot of you guys are in your relationship with God. You might just be very new, but you're feeling like you. You're only knee deep and you're struggling to get all the way in, where you're head to toe, soaking wet, and you're swimming in that ocean you might only be dipping your toes in. I don't know where you are. And there might be a lot of reasons that are stopping you from getting to that. And those problems, I pray, are opened up to you, and God gives you the wisdom on how to handle it. But the thing that I would say is, how often is our rut with God just caused by a lack in God's presence? And if your life isn't surrounded by God's presence, if you aren't aware of God's presence in your life, if you don't acknowledge his holy spirit, if you don't do things that make you sensitive to his spirit, you will not get an answer to the deep rooted problem, if there is one. So, yes, get around your pastor. Yes, get around your friends. Yes, go to therapy if you need it. Yes, have real deep conversations with yourself and with other people about trauma that you have experienced. But without a relationship with the most high God, those problems will stay deep rooted, and they will reap fruit that is completely against the word of God. So when I talk about romanticizing God, I am not doing this fairy, fluffy type Christianity where I'm saying, oh, just think about Jesus and everything will be okay. I am talking about laying your life down at the feet of Jesus and waking up every morning with the declaration in your heart and in your mouth that you will serve God today, tomorrow, and forever. No ifs, no buts. Every single day, I will wake up, whether I feel like it or not. I will wake up and I will praise the Lord. I will glorify his name. I will get in his word. I will pray, and I will not pray in a weak way that does not declare the promises of God. I will pray in a way that cast out the demons. I will pray in a way that decrees and declares the promises of God. And I will rejoice before I even receive it. And when I do receive it, I will not run away and dwell in those materialistic things that will not hold me. Because sometimes we get to a point where we're worshipping the blessing more than the blesser. The blessings can be gone in a second. The Bible talks about how futile our life is, but how our God is the same. Yes. Day to day and forever. The air that you're breathing, my God created that. The gravity that is keeping you to the ground, your God made that. The sun that will come out in the morning, you're looking at God's creation right there. Our God is not a God to forget. And when I talk about romanticizing God, I am talking about literally letting go of any idols, letting go of anything that you are putting above him. Because we're all romanticizing something. Hmm. I remember when someone said about prayer, pray more than you think about it. Pray more about the things that you want and talk less about the things that you don't have. There is something ruminating in your mind at all times. And that gives me some prompting to go to psalms one, because this is a scripture that was probably the biggest thing that I meditated on as a new Christian. I don't really talk about this verse a lot. I'm not sure if I've mentioned it in my podcast, but that is a reminder for me to get back to it. But even in this period where I've been glorifying God, and even my friend Jess in our bible study yesterday brought it up about this scripture, and I'm going to read it to you guys because it really, it just for me that I could. I'm going to pick this apart in this podcast. I'm not going to say I could, I'm going to because I feel God calling me so heavy. To really expand on this, I don't want you to look at this title and for you to think it's fluffy. Yes, you might click on it because you thought, I'm going to make it fluffy. And I will give you some fluffy little tips on how you can spend time with Jesus, whatever. But this is more than that. This is more than that. And that's why I made this podcast, because I feel passionate about romanticizing being something deeper than what you might think it is. And psalm one, psalm one, verse one to three. Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither and all he does prospers. This, for me, is the definition of romanticizing God. This, for me, is having your life completely revolved, having God as a nucleus of your life? Because I think the problem is with us, with me, as well. Because when I'm talking about this girl, when I listen back to my podcast and I edit them, it is a holy SAP in the face, because sometimes I don't even remember what I said. Sometimes I don't even know how I worded it like that. Sometimes all my notes go out the window, because my notes is technically, you know, me doing some strategizing. Yes, I'm strategizing with God. Yes, I'm praying that it gets relayed in a way that glorifies him. But at the end of the day, this is, like, a lot of the time, it's my brain and it's my structure. Like, I know I need to make a podcast, and I'm gonna come up with an idea, and now I'm gonna write some notes. When I press record, not every time do I feel as passionate about something as I do today. But when I said to you, I could be tired, but the Lord will energize me, and I feel very energized right now. But this scripture, our problem as christians is that sometimes our faith is a section. Our faith is a section or a slice of a piece of cake. Let's use that as an analogy. Our faith isn't the cake. If someone said they're gonna give you a cake, and all they gave you was a pile of icing, some sprinkles, a cherry, some candles, would you be like, thanks? You say, girl, that's not a cake. You gave me the decoration. Some of you are calling your decorations of life your life. Some of you are putting too much emphasis on that job and not on the God who gave you that job. Some of you are putting more emphasis on the relationship that God didn't even give you. That decoration shouldn't even be on that cake, girl, because you keep running back to that man, who you know does not glorify God, who you know that is not leading you to the place that God is calling you to be. We're worshipping the decoration, and we're not actually worshipping the foundation when it says, blessed is a man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers. This is a life that romanticizes sin. This is a life that romanticizes recklessness. So it is giving us two choices. It is giving us the two paths. One is wide and one is narrow. This is the wide one. This is the easy one. Because a blessed man does things that is not easy. The blessed man probably finds it hard to walk away from the counsel of the wicked. He probably finds it hard to not stand in the way of sinners. And he probably finds it hard to not sit in the seat of scoffers. How easy is it for us to go back into the things that don't glorify God? But getting into the things that do is a task. We could even go back into the simple thing of sitting and reading your Bible. I could easily open up TikTok right now. For some of you, you could easily open up porn. For some of you, you could easily go sleep with that guy. For some of you, you could easily go out with your friends and get drunk. It's not easy to open your word. It's not easy to shut your mouth and stop gossiping and start opening your mouth and worshiping the Lord. This scripture shows us so clearly how easy it is to do that stuff. But it says here, but his delight is in the law of the Lord. When I first read this, I'm like, how can you delight in such a thing? Like that life where, like, I could look at the word and just get butterflies? Because the word feels restrictive to me. The word feels boring to me. The word feels like I have to give something up and that's not comfortable. The word takes me away from something else I'd rather be doing. Because sometimes it's not sin that we'd rather be doing. Sometimes I'd rather be sitting and reading my kindle and getting into a good book. Sometimes I'd rather be watching documentary with my mum. And that's where we need to get back to the foundation, and that's where we all need to, regardless of if it's sin or not. Because there might be some things that convicted you in regards to sin, but there also might be things that you need to be convicted on that might not be sinful, but are becoming an idol, which is definitely a sin. Delighting in the law. How do we get to that point where we delight in the law? It says here on his law, he meditates day and night. That's the missing puzzle. Because whoever this is, whoever this man is, whoever this ideal Christian is, will open up his word and meditate it day and night. Is he motivated day and night? No. Is he driven and delighting and so excited to get in the law of the Lord day and night? Absolutely not. Is he tired? Sometimes, yeah. Is he hungry? Sometimes, yeah. Is he distracted sometimes. Yeah. But does he open it? Yeah. Does he meditate on it? Yeah. Does he make that conscious decision? Yeah. Because in that time where he has that choice, he will reflect on the love that he has experienced in the past and how beneficial that love was, how beneficial that refining process was, how beneficial it was to have the word ruminating in his heart and in his mind. So he will make a choice based on how beneficial it is for him. I said to my colleague at work the other day when he's been trying to go to the gym a lot more, and I said to him, there's never been a time where I've regretted working out. Oh, that was too hard. Oh, I probably shouldn't done that. I should have just sat and ate my m and M's and watched Netflix. There is never a time. But there is a lot of times, most times, where I'm like, I cannot be bothered to go downstairs and do a workout right now. When I go for a walk, I cannot be bothered to put my shoes on. Especially this time of year when it's getting dark and it's raining all the time and it's cold. I cannot be bothered. But me and my friend at work, we're like, let's get up and go for a walk. We are sat staring at this screen all day. We need to get up. We can't just sit there. It's the same as the word. Am I gonna lie to you and say, guys, I've run home to open my word? Sorry to break it to you, but even though this podcast is about lesser, be more of him, that more of him is hard sometimes, and that's okay. It's the same with marriage. I'm not even a married woman, but I have been in a relationship for three years, and I know that I have to choose to love Naz sometimes. It's not always easy. I have to choose to spend time with him. He would probably say the same thing. There's sometimes that he probably would be rather watching anime than on the phone. To me, there's sometimes I would rather be sitting and reading my kindle than see my phone vibrating and him calling me, love you, babe. But, you know, I'd be honest, but I have a commitment to this man, and he has a commitment to me. But there is never a time where I'm on the phone and I regret him calling or I regret calling him. Our human nature is always after something new. Discipline and daily commitment to a thing will get hard. Sometimes the flesh tells us to walk away and try and find something new. But our spirit is what will convict us to stay there. Because the good thing is coming. If I walked away from Naz right now, I'd be walking away from the love of my life, and I'd be walking away from the person that God called me to be with for the rest of my life. I'd be walking away from my children's future father. I'd be walking away from my ministry partner. I'd be walking away from the man who loves me and cares about me and pursues me the way that Christ pursues me to. But when things get hard and when I'm struggling, is it easy to walk away? Yes. But when I'm walking away from something that is incredibly beneficial to me, all because I didn't have the stick ability, we're walking away from God before we're even getting the fruits. There are times where I open my word and I honestly cannot be bothered or I feel so overwhelmed. There's times where I start to get a bit insecure to be honest about, like, I'm gonna open the bible and it's not gonna make any sense to me, girl. 2 hours later, I'm running and opening my notepad. I'm on the bible writing note after note after note. I'm looking at it in different versions. I'm going online and looking at the meaning. I'm talking to my mum by and asking her questions. I'm going on YouTube and trying to find someone else's perspective on something that I just read. I'm opening my Spotify and I'm listening to worship music and I'm bawling my eyes out. I'm putting on soaking music and I'm thanking the Lord for my life. I'm thanking the Lord for his life and that he gave his one only son to give his life so we can have life and have life abundantly. And he rose again and defeated death. But what if I didn't open it? What if I said, oh, I just don't know, like, is today a good day? Maybe I'll do it tomorrow. I don't know. And then I. What do I gain from watching the worst x ever? Amazing series, by the way? Worst x ever? Worst roommate ever? Banging. But it's not. It's not giving me, you know, hope long term. That's not my daily bread. That is moldy bread. Yes. God, you know, I think he. He enjoys us being entertained, but at what level? At the level where it overtakes him? No. No. Should I. Should I care more? About short term entertainment than long term refining definitely nothing. And a life where you romanticize God means that not every time is going to feel romantic, but you're going to choose it anyway. I don't always feel romantic with Naz, especially when I'm on my period. Girls know when I'm ovulating. Yeah, I fancy you quite a lot, but when I'm on my period. No, when I'm pmsing in particular, before, you know, the. The process of the menstrual cycle begins. I. I don't want to talk to anyone, not even my man, but I have to. I have to, and I know that I have to, and it's hard and that, you know, you got to push yourself out of it, and you got to stop yourself and be mean sometimes because, you know, your hormones are saying one thing but your heart saying another. But I do it every day, and my relationship wouldn't be as strong if I didn't. And if you don't build up that time, you don't build up that love, and you don't build up that appreciation, and then you won't be able to romanticize it. Because I could sit and talk about Naz all day long because I've gone through those hard times. If you asked me when I first met Naz and we were on that high, we'd never had a low. Yes. I could say, oh, my gosh, he's such a nice guy. Like, I really like him. You know, he's really handsome, and we went on this very nice date, and, like, he's a Christian. What is that telling you about Nas? Not a lot. It's kind of surface level. But if you ask me now, on the 17 October 2024, three years into my relationship, how do I feel about Naz? I would say I am so in love with that man because despite what we have gone through, he has chosen to love me and to serve me. He has grown in his faith. I look back from when I first met him to now, how he's not just grown in his relationship with God, but how his relationship with God has molded him to be a man. I have seen him go from a boy to a man, and I am so in love with him, not because everything has gone well, but because even in the times that they haven't gone well, he stayed committed to me. Does that not show you? Wow. Like, they. They are going to be together forever. Wow. That really, you know, speaks volumes, the relationship that they have. Some of you ran away from God as soon as the honeymoon phase ended as soon as reality started hitting again. But that's when it starts to get good. And I want to encourage you and challenge you to push through those hard times. And can I give you a secret as well? None of those hard times are God's fault. Because I. You know, I could say that there's been times that Naz was in the wrong. I could say there was times that he didn't do the right thing, that he said something that was wrong because he's human. But the amazing thing about pursuing God is that he is never wrong. And even in those times where you honestly open up your heart and say, God, I don't know why you did that. I don't know why you didn't stop that. I don't know why you didn't tell me to not do that. Lord, where were you in that period? God's never going to reply and say, I'm sorry, my child, I forgot about you. God's going to build you up and remind you of his characteristics. God's going to shine a loving and a redeeming and a powerful light onto a dark world that sometimes goes wrong. God's going to give you that sense of escapism whilst giving you the tools to handle the reality. God's going to show you how to set your mind on things above, not things below, but when things below are hard. He's a practical God, he's an intentional God. And he is a God that is overwhelmingly loving, powerful, mighty. That's a God that is worth romanticizing. That is a God that is worthy of my time, is worthy of my surrender and is worthy of my commitment. But we're too busy romanticizing something else. We're too busy waking up and thinking will be college noticed me today. What am I wearing this evening to this party? So this boy might think I'm cute. If only I could make all the money in the world. If only I could get promoted again and be able to afford this new car. And sometimes it might be deeper than that. Sometimes it might be. If only I could get over this depression. If only I could stop thinking about suicide. If only my mum would get better. If only I could get over the pain of the abuse that I endured. But letting those things be the things that you meditate and letting the potential outcome become your idol, you won't be able to get the peace and the miracles and the hope and the joy not just for yourself, but for everyone around you than if you went to Jesus. I remember when I became a Christian and my mum was telling me things that she was worried about. And I said to her, every time that you bring it up like that, every time that you say it like that, you're digging up the seed that you sowed when you prayed, when you declared that you were going to trust God again, that you were going to give him your all, that you weren't going to let the things of the world rob you of the things of heaven. You're taking up that seed, or maybe you've never planted it. Maybe you've never been able to let God give you the seed to sow. Maybe you've been sowing your own seed and all you're getting is rotten fruit and you're asking God, why? But have you ever thought that in the midst of so heavily dwelling on something that is not, God is not going to produce fruits that look like God? It's in these moments that we have to really think about the life that we want to live and also the life that Jesus wants to give us and that Jesus has already given us. Because when he died on that cross and rose again on the third day, he had promised abundance. Abundance. In our relationship with the father that had been separated through the law, we have the ultimate blessing and the ultimate relationship, the ultimate communion with the father who will never let us go, will never leave nor forsake us. Not that he did anyway, because in the Old Testament, he was more patient than any of us could have ever been. But now, I don't know about you, but I don't feel like we have an excuse. And I'm saying that with a, you know, knowing that I will try and give myself excuses, but a father that is so loving, that is so filled with grace, grace, unmerited favor is what grace means. That means that God will be there even if you weren't there. That means that God will pursue you even if you don't pursue him back. That means that you can take your rotten fruit and give it to God and he will resew it to turn it into something amazing. He will give you a new perspective. He will heal you from your depression, he'll heal you and give you a desire to start life again. And he is a physical healer, too. And he also provides peace in the midst of healing. Peace for you, peace for those around you, peace for those who are suffering. Why romanticize something and set your whole life on that one thing when you could romanticize a God who was never ending in his blessings and you don't even need to think about those blessings? I'm not saying that we shouldn't pray for things. I'm not saying, you know, I said it before and I'll say it again. We need to be bold in our prayers. We need to be faithful and spirit filled and scripture filled in our prayers. We need to allow the Holy Spirit to work in us. Me and my mum and Naz were having this conversation the other day with prayers. A lot of the time we're not giving way for the Holy Spirit to work in our prayers. So our prayers are filled with our own thoughts and maybe that's stopping us from praying in the first place. And then when we do pray, because we're not rooted in our word, they lack the ability to fill us up with what prayers are meant to do. Because prayers aren't about convincing God. Prayers are just about speaking the things that God has already declared over your life. Romanticizing God means that you don't need to be stressing about every other component. Like, you know, when you're praying and you're trying to go through the list of all the things you have to pray for and you're worried that you're going to miss something out. Wholeheartedly seeking God means you don't need to worry about that. God's not going to not bless that thing because you forgot to pray about it. God honors a heart that is fully surrendering to him and will seek him through every trial. That it is not about resting in your own righteousness, your ability to do good things, but it is about resting in the father's righteousness. That is not about resting in your own righteousness, but it is about resting in his righteousness. That is a life that I want to romanticize. That is a life that God wants our lives to be around. And going into the fluffy stuff, which we're going to finish with. I know we've gone really heavy in this podcast, but find ways to make it fun, find ways to keep the excitement alive. I'm not saying that it's always easy, but I'm saying that sometimes we don't create a lifestyle that makes it easy for God to fit in. Even though our lifestyle should be about God. It starts with that intentionality to say, let me actually rejig this. We will all make time for the things that we care about. Oh Ledeeba, I am really busy. What is your screen time right now? Go on your settings, look up screen time because I know some of y'all are seeing like hours on TikTok, hours on Instagram, hours on Snapchat, hours on messages, gossiping with your friend about what so and so did at school today. Oh, my gosh. Did you hear what Jamie said in that meeting? He's just so unprofessional. Yadda, yadda, yadda. I've been there. How could that time have been better used with God? The Bible can be opened on the bus, on the train. The Bible can be listened to in your car. Worship music can play throughout you. Cooking. A podcast can go on when you're cooking, when you're sat in front of the tv, before you turn on the tv. You can open up your bible when you turn off your tv, and you're about to go on TikTok and scroll through before you get in your bed. You could use that time to seek God. You could pray when your alarm goes off in the morning and the first thing you do is grab your phone, be convicted, and grab your bible. That's something that I need to work on. So I'm not even about to say that I be doing that, because I don't. The first thing I do is go on my phone and look at my sleep score on my fitbit. But the Lord is the only one that gives true rest. I'll tell you that for free. We need to stop making excuses, because when I have been slowly adjusting to just even five minutes of my time being given to God, slotting him in in different parts of my day, all of a sudden, my mindset has changed. All of a sudden, I feel more inclined to seek him. That means no excuses. That means he found time to do that. And that means that in that time that he found he was renewed and delighted. His delight as a result of his meditation is in the thing that he was meditating. Girl, when I tell you, you'll never get the drive to seek God unless you just do it. There is nothing in my body, no atom in me, no inkling, no desire for me to sniff cocaine. Hear me out. Why? Because I had never tried it, and I never tried nothing else that might lead me to, oh, debatable, the green stuff. But I have repented from that and moved forward. In the name of Jesus, amen. But do you see how that could have spiraled, though? People say that it won't. There's things that will spiral into other things. Let your five minutes of reading the verse of the day spiral into you studying proverbs, psalms, Corinthians, Hebrews. And don't let your smoking weed. Oh, maybe I'll sniff that bit of cocaine. Or maybe I'll, you know, try something a bit more. Maybe I'll. Maybe I'll inject that into myself. Do you see how these things will spiral? Do you see how entertaining one desire leads to another? Desiree? This person who meditated on the law of the Lord day and night might have just started in a simple prayer. When I became a Christian, I was just reading the verse today. And then I started studying the whole Bible. Now I got Bible highlighters, and I'm waking up at eight in the morning to go downstairs and read my Bible in the middle of lockdown. Now I'm lifting my hands up in worship in my

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00 p.m. on a random Wednesday, because I just chose to let that desire continue to flow. As humans, we will gravitate to the things that we let ourselves gravitate towards. I remember when I watched the Ted Bundley documentary, which I cannot watch serial killer documentaries anymore because they just freak me out. I had to watch the rest of that one because I just had to know that he was dead. Lord, I don't know if that is of you, that anyone should die, but I was scared. That was the reason. Even though he's in America, he was a person that I was so scared of. And then he escaped prison. Like, I'm getting teary eyed thinking about it. Like, I have nightmares. I have had night. I don't anymore, thank the Lord, but I have had nightmares about serial killers, him being one of them. But I remember watching a documentary about him. This is to the point where we were getting towards him, getting to the death penalty. So I was watching that because I needed to sleep at night. I'm so sorry, Lord. That might not glorify you, but I was so scared to go to bed. And they said that they spoke to prisoners. Ted Bundy himself. You'll have to do your own research on this. But I. They found out that serial killers started with a porn addiction. It's like something like 70% of serial killers had a porn addiction, then they had a violent porn addiction. Then they went onto the dark web, however they did that, and they watched people get murdered. Sorry, we really took a dark turn. We started talking about drugs. Now we're talking about murderous. But I promise we're getting somewhere. Do you see how if we used our commitment the same way that we use it to sin, to glorify God, how much we will glorify God, how much that that would be our whole lives. You know what lengths serial killers go through to kill to satisfy their desire? How much lengths they go through to hide the fact that they are the killer. They have to plan a murder for months, cover up a murder, run away. Ted Bundy went to multiple different states and killed multiple different women. And because at the time, the media wasn't as advanced, technology wasn't as advanced, people from different states and different counties and different cities were reporting on it and not hearing about what the next city had experienced. It really definitely coincided as the same murderer who was doing the same thing there. Took them a whole hot minute to figure out it was him. Then he escaped. It's like someone that's addicted to crack cocaine. They will do anything to get that drug, baby girl, but we won't do nothing to seek the Lord. And I say all the time, when I see certain people who are so passionate for the wrong things, while they'd be a mighty Christian, because the dedication that they have, if that dedication was given to the Lord, that'll be powerful. That would be revival right there. And it's all because those people have romanticized. They were meditating on something. Ted Bundy was meditating on women, meditating on sex, and meditating on murder, and he succeeded. He got what he wanted. If we talk about, you know, manifestation or whatever, not. But you could be using that same meditation to meditate on the law of the Lord, the delights and the just abundance of abundant grace and abundant transformation that the Holy Spirit and Jesus Christ and the Father offers us, and that is receiving godly blessings that will not be taken away from you, that is going down a path that you will never have to say, oh, I'm going to turn around. Oh, I've gone too far. Oh, I felt guilty. I felt, you know, led astray. Now I'm being arrested. I mean, well, debatable persecution, but you know what I'm trying to say. You be sleeping well at night, knowing that you're following Jesus, regardless of what comes before you. We all meditate on something. We all romanticize something. Let that be Jesus. And that is the end. I didn't even go through my notes, to be honest. I think I pretty much expanded on my notes. I definitely did. So they're a good preface, but the Holy Spirit took over, so we're grateful for that. I pray that this episode touched you, and I hope that you saw my heart in this, because I felt so empowered. To be honest. The amount of notes I have really aren't a lot. Usually I have, like, three or four pages, and I only had one and a half today. And I said to my mom, I have enough. I don't need to write any more notes. And I didn't. I didn't actually know what I was gonna come on here and say. I knew roughly, but I hadn't, like, pieced it together in my mind, but I just felt the Holy Spirit saying, just press record. And I'm a. I'm a. I'm a go with you, baby girl. I'ma speak for you. So I'm excited to listen back to this, because I know that God has just revealed some things that even I need to listen to, and I'm so grateful. But, yeah, I pray that this episode touched you. I pray that it encourages you to seek God more, to let him be your lifestyle. No additions, no subtractions. Just pure Jesus, like that guy who's having that pure cocaine. Just have pure Jesus. Ain't no lacing, just Jesus. I hope you guys understand that humor. I hope there's no one here that's, like, gets uncomfortable with that. Yeah. Anyways, my humor always come through. I'm sorry. Maybe that maybe. Yeah. Target audience in it. I'm sorry if that wasn't a bit of you, but I hope the homegirls get it. Anyways, love you guys. I am tired. I think you can tell when I'm tired, I jump off the wall. So I'm gonna go. And I love you. God loves you even more than I ever can. And all of this is his heart for you. You. Not just the body, not just in an impersonal way. You. God wants to know and grow with you. I will see you guys in the next episode. Bye.