how God led my fiancé to propose (our engagement story)

the homegirls know i have been rambling on about getting engaged but this episode is one you guys have been WAITING FOR.

nas is back on the podcast, and we’re breaking down everything - from how he planned the proposal to how i almost ruined the surprise.

nas goes into the details of how he knew it was time, the conversations leading up to the engagement, and how we navigated emotional and spiritual preparation for marriage. 

what we talk about:

• how nas planned the proposal and almost got caught
• how he asked my parents for their blessing
• what i wanted for the engagement vs. what actually happened
• the importance of preparing emotionally, spiritually, and financially for marriage
• when is the right time to propose?
• boundaries in dating, engagement, and how they shift as we approach marriage
• lessons we’ve learned about godly relationships

we pray this blesses you and we will be following up with a part 2 where we talk about our break in 2023-2024.

00:00 - our first podcast as an engaged couple
02:00 - how nas planned the proposal 
08:30 - asking my parents for their blessing
13:45 - finding the perfect ring
18:10 - the actual day of the proposal
24:30 - the big moment: what nas said when he proposed
29:00 - how we spiritually and emotionally prepared for engagement
34:15 - when is the right time to propose?
38:20 - setting boundaries in dating and engagement
45:00 - advice for anyone waiting on their godly spouse

Transcript

0:09

Hey, homegirls. Welcome back to the Less of Me podcast. And I am here with my beautiful fiance. Slay period. He's back. He is back for the first time since we have been engaged as a fiance. Yeah, we are very excited. I know you guys have been looking forward to this. To be honest, I've been looking forward to this because I feel like talking about the engagement on my own just doesn't really hit the same. You don't really get to get the full picture, do you? No. And I mean, you were the one that planned it. Exactly. So it's all the details there. It's only coming from the girl right now. So we are going to be grilling Naz. You guys have asked a lot of questions. Yeah. So we are going to go through the questions that you guys have asked us about the engagement and just about our relationship, the future. Give people a bit of a picture to what's going on in our lives. Interesting. Yeah. You ready? I am. Cool. Okay, so the first one is how did Naz propose and what was the story behind the engagement? So we're starting basically. Just give me the full tea on how it happened. Are we. Where we. Where are we starting from? I guess we starting from, like, start wherever you feel. Okay. Well, I guess maybe about or at autumn time. Beginning of autumn time, I obviously had in mind. Okay, cool. This is definitely like the time frame which I'm going to propose now, which is about three to four months time from then. And so start to get myself ready in a position just mentally, spiritually, financially as well. Obviously. I always knew that I was wanted to marry you and I was going to propose to you, but in terms of like, actually putting, like, you know, this is the game plan for note, I actually on my notes app had, like, end game. Did you proposal? So, yeah, if you. If anybody's like a himyim fan, you probably know, like the playbook with Barney, but what is that how I met your mother, anyways. Oh, how I met your mother. Yeah. Like, Barney had like a playbook for, like. What was it called? I can't remember, but it's like a playbook for, like, the last sort of game he's gonna play, which is going to be to, like, get Robin. But anyway, never watched it. Doesn't matter. Should we watch it together maybe? Okay, we can do sidetrack. Let me. Shut up. And so, yeah, getting on to doing that. Started trying to try and look around about rings a bit more. Started trying to piece together, like, to reassure you that I was going to obviously working towards proposing to you whil also throwing you off the card. So, yeah, because I started getting like upset a couple times. You did. And you're like. And I was like, oh my God. I feel like it was like a month before. I was like, nah, it's like, you know, is this actually gonna happen? Or like. I was like, have you really thought about how you're gonna propose? Yeah. You kept thinking, I don't know why I was upset. You kept thinking like, oh, like, I have. You actually got things sorted. Like, do you know, like the ring. Do you know how I want to be proposed to? Yeah. I'm like, girl. I was like, if only you knew the things I was planning. Like, my mind was already running. Oh, I know. I feel so bad looking composed. I was like, look. Yeah, just again, almost act a bit nonchalant in a way so that she doesn't like sense that you're actually planning this right now, but also reassure her that you are working towards this. So. Because obviously that's the case, I don't have to be upset that, like, I'm not doing that, but I didn't want her to feel like, as though I am literally, literally T minus one week about to put. I think there's one time you'd even asked a week beforehand, I think. Did I? I think so. Like during, during that week and I was like, oh, I like it. Yeah, literally shut up in one week's time. But no. So, yeah, just working through that. Trying to make sure that I'm reassuring you whilst in the background, not giving anything away because I want to be a surprise. Obviously it wasn't going to be a surprise because we've been speaking about this for like three years, for three and a half years by the time I proposed. But yeah, so it wasn't going to come as a surprise on the day, but I wanted the day itself to be a surprise. So initially I knew like, I wanted to do it abroad, like just like taking a day trip or whether it be like a two day trip, but it was so difficult. That was also like my wish that I was abroad. Yeah, it was your wish for it to be. What did you think, like, before I'd ever said it, I mean, did you have a plan? I had a plan. Maybe, like, maybe it might be like in a summer, it may be like somewhere which is. Doesn't really look like the typical UK where it'd be like Cornwall or something like that, but because obviously the time of when we were going to be getting engaged, February The UK just isn't gonna work. So obviously we spoke about a day trip just on a random thing anyway, outside of the proposal. Because you didn't know I was gonna propose to you anyway. Yeah. So we. Speaking about that. Initially we wanted to do Sevilla and we had to do a day trip before the beginning of the year, so I kind of wanted to do two. So it kind of feels like we're regularly doing day trips. Yeah. It's not my sanctuary. We're trying to just do anyway. Yeah. But it kind of worked out because it allowed me to be able to save more of not going off that day trip. Yeah. Because we were planning one in December and it never happened. It never happened. Yeah. But also it may seem like as though it's just the day trip which is meant to happen. December happen then. So rather than like a particular thing kind of. Which will kind of throw you off. Maybe. What's he planning? Yeah. About my birthday. What's going on? So, yeah, there was that. So look at different locations. And honestly just wasn't working out. We're looking at different locations. It's like either it's too far, too expensive time for flights just doesn't really work out. This is just jarring. Yeah. And then maybe about. I think it was like November time, end of November, I was like, malaga. What's wrong with malaga? You know, I love malaga. I went with my boys, Lekid, Amy Flaren, shout out to you guys. Yeah. In November 2023. Yeah. And then I was like, oh, it's a beautiful place. I have. I love it. And you've never been. You've always said, oh, it looks so good, I want to go. I was like, why not go? Yeah. So I was looking more into that look at being. To photographers and things like that. But initially, which we love, by the way, because the pictures are so good, but also the fact that you even thought about it. Yeah. Photographer, like, I think that's really. Yeah. I had to capture the moment, didn't I? Like, I think especially because it's just going to be the two of us. I wanted your family, my family still be able to have, like. Yeah. And our friends and loved ones to be able to have something which they could. Yeah. Because I didn't want it with family. Not like, no shade to my family, no shade to my friends. But I don't like big things, like, centered around me. Yeah. So I said from Naz, quite early on, please don't repose in front of anyone. Like, at first he thought maybe, like, does she mean, like completely private. Like, I still don't mind it in public, but I don't want people that know me to be there to be there. Because we didn't want it to be like, in the middle of, like, in front of the Eiffel Tower where, like, there's a thousand people getting proposed already. Oh, my gosh. It was. Someone from work was telling me how he was somewhere, but it wasn't like somewhere typical. It was just somewhere on holiday. But him and his girlfriend saw five people in one evening getting engaged. And like, the same kind of spot. Same spot. It's like. Yeah, so I wasn't trying to do that. Yeah. So luckily, shout out to Mikau Carbo Photography. He helped me to pick out a great location. And yeah, that was just. It was just beautiful. He was just so helpful. If you guys ever planning to do proposal abroad somewhere, make sure you get somebody who actually knows the area. Yeah, that. That was so. Made it so much. Yeah, it just did. She like, took away. Look, there's a stress I would have had in terms of trying to think about where should I go time in restaurants. A restaurant. He did. Yeah, he did. So, like, that was super helpful as well. And again, he had his partner, also Denny. He was really super helpful on hand just for helping us on the day and also, like, with the flowers and other little elements that we needed. So, yeah, that really helped to alleviate stress. And then, yeah, when it came to ring shopping, I had to, like. Well, I don't know, I did have to, like, semi, like, lie about where I was because, like, we love lying for we share each other's locations, which is really nice. And so, because we share locations, I mean, if she decides to at one point look at my. I am not a stalker, guys. Right? She's not a stalker. She just. I just love you. She does mean she wants to know that I'm safe. Yeah. So it's more just like if Naz is going from point A to point B or like, I can't keep track of Naz's schedule. We need to. We've talked about this. We need to sort out, like, a shared calendar. Calendar. Because he's always busy with client meetings and I never know where you are, so, like, I'll look on your thing. And I'm like, oh, he's home. Or, oh, he's like, driving somewhere. Yeah. And like, I can never keep track. And then you're like, babe, I did tell you, but I'm like, I just forget my mind. So. Yeah, I could have Just looked. It could just be a case of like, she's looking across and it's like, he's in Hatton Garden. What's he doing there? Not that I even know what that is. So you're lucky. I mean, if I zoomed in and saw the shot, then I would have googled it. What's he doing over there? So like, yeah, I had to just say like, I'm just gonna meet in nearby work and then drop my work. Drop my actual phone down, take my work phone with me. Did a bit of a scout. I was like, ooh, okay. I actually like that ring. Basically for note, guys, make sure that you speak with your lady about what kind of style. Please, please. It doesn't mean that you can't go and still have some inspiration, because she didn't. Again, the ring, which she has on her finger isn't like dirt. Exactly. I didn't show him that exact ring. But I had, I had a good idea. And so when I saw it and obviously just known her, you know, her character, knowing her personality, I was like, yeah, this is really screaming her. So yeah, did that came back. Put deposit down for it. And then I guess after that point, it was then speaking with your parents. Yeah, tell the story of that because that is such a sweet story. By the time obviously I'd come to the point of obviously having got the ring, I. This was basically Christmas time. So a range of people are going to be down anyway for Christmas. And then what was I trying to do? Yes, I start speaking to my mom already at this point, even, maybe even before getting the ring. And no. Oh, really? No, actually, no, I didn't. That's a lie. That's a lie. It was afterwards. I'm mixing my stories, time frames is this year. But no, I was. What was I doing? I said obviously, no, when I was down, I said that, yeah, I want to speak to your mom and dad. I was planning to do at a time where you're going to be away out the house, because I think there was one gap where you were planning to be, but it didn't happen that way. And so then I had to basically do it in the morning when you were asleep on like the second day that I was there. So I literally had to. Yeah, I had to sneak over. He had to park far away from. My house, like maybe like a five minute walk off. Right. And then come over to the house. Through the neighbor's garden. Through the neighbor's garden at like

6: 11:12

30 in the morning. Mom and Dad's still in pajamas. And like, okay, yeah, we're gonna speak. Maybe sneaky, sneaky, sneak in. Even he probably already knew what I was gonna do. But, yeah, so, yeah, I went through that. Basically said, you know, I love your daughter. She is an amazing woman. She's enriched my life and we've had the privilege of being able to grow alongside each other. And you guys have been so supportive of us. I thank you for, like, welcoming me in as a son. It's been really appreciative to be able to know that, you know, I have, you know, another part extension to my family. And, you know, I feel like this is the right time and I don't really want to hold it off much longer, so I would love to have her hand in marriage. And yeah, Mum was in tears, obviously. Yeah. So you're like, yeah, I'm so happy this day has come, you know, my son. And then, you know your dad. Dad, Pops, I call him Pops. He was like, no good. You know, I'm happy about this. Pleased about this. And what was the first thing you said? He said, no, he said, I think it's a good time, and said, yeah. I. I thought you said, well, I think that's brilliant, or something like that. Well, I think that's brilliant. That's brilliant. It's even like. And he's like, I think that's when. We went away for the weekend the other day, he comes out. He is the most typical, like, white boomer. Like, he's just so, like, like, so British in every way. We love pop. Love you, Chris. Yeah. No, he's like, yeah, I believe you'll make a good husband. I was like, oh, oh, no. It was even when I talked to my mum when we got engaged and I FaceTimed her because I was like this, like, to my mum, like on FaceTime, like, haha. Like, I got the ring. And she's like, what is that? What is it? And like, pretending was like, she already knew. Yeah. And then she goes, you know how your dad is like a man of few wears. I was like, yeah. She was like. I asked him afterwards, like, are you happy about Naz and Elodie getting engaged? And he goes, you know what, Pat? If I could draw a picture of what Elodie's husband would be, it would be Naz. Oh, with my two platts. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I thought that was so sweet. Like, I'm so happy that they're happy. Yeah, I am. So it made it a lot easier in that regard. Then afterwards, once I knew, obviously, I Had that obviously, in fact, context. I'd like, kind of been speaking with my. SO boys and mentors about this leading up just for, like, advice and prayer. And then was then speaking, you know, making sure my mum knows my family well, my immediate family. No. So my siblings and my mum. And then from that point, it was just kind of working towards. Yeah. The day really eyeing out all the different details. Picking up the ring again, I had to lie about my location. It's like, oh, so you went twice. I went twice. I went first to obviously have the scout around and make sure. So you saw the ring you like the first time. Mm. And then went to go and pick up. Out of interest, what were the other rings that you saw? All the other rings, like, when you. Said that she bought some in. She bought some win. But, like, some. They had too much. They were. They were too busy. Right. Unlike, you know, had lots of, like, rhinestones here. Or like, maybe it was like they were too busy. Big in terms of the band and stuff like that. Yeah. Because I'm. I'm quite basic. Like, you guys, if you watch my videos or see me on socials or whatever, I wear gold jewelry usually paired with everything from Primark. Like, I literally bought a top from Tesco today. Like, I'm not really, like, very out there with my style. Like, I quite like basic. So I said to Nat, basic, I would say, what was it you said? Minimal. Bless him. So I wanted a ring that even if I had no makeup on in, just like, usually I wear like a. Jumper and like, just wearing something, you know, standing. Yeah. I want something that looks. Still looks good. And like, obviously I even said on my previous podcast, like, if you're someone who loves a big jewelry, then your man needs to know to get you a bigger, more glam ring. Like, it has to be something that. Suits on your finger. Yeah. Like, this is probably very simple for some people. Some people, they might want even more simple, but you have to know your girl, which is. Some people might want to thin a band and they might want, like a smaller, smaller diamond. And some people even, like, not diamonds. Like ruby. Ruby, exactly. All these different things. There's so many different things. So, like, do your research for one, because there's a lot of options and. Let her have a Pinterest board and share it with you, because that was something that I did over the years. So you kind of knew. Yeah. At first I was like, why are you sending this to me? Like, let me just choose. But I was like, wait a minute. You actually Want to get right. Because I gotta wear it every day. You gotta wear it every day. And it's also not cheap. So it's like, why would you just buy something? Buy something. And that's the other thing. It's like the difference between gold and silver or even any other material. Yeah. It's just like, you gotta know what your girl likes. So. Yeah. Yeah. Take her fingers and inspiration. And then there's still so much research to do after that anyway, so, like, don't feel like. So I don't have any sort of say your job in doing. It's like, there's going to be so much you have to look at, ask about. So. Yeah. Yeah. So on to the day. The actual day or, like, what you planned leading up to the day. Okay. So planned eating up today. So I plan out a bit of an itinerary in terms of what we do. Make sure I book the restaurant, sorting out the hotel. So we went. We got engaged the day we went to Malaga. So we were in Malaga for one night in separate hotel rooms. Thank you very much. Let me just say that to our y'all, who want to, want to be haters. We stayed in different rooms. Thank you very much. I am not pregnant. And that's not why we're getting married. Oh, gosh. Yeah. What do you even call it when people. It's called. It's wedlock in it. It's what? Married out of wedlock. Right? Married out. It's wedlock married out of wedlock. When you're like. If you're pregnant. Pregnant out of wedlock. Married. Because you're not married. Oh, no. Like, if you're gonna get married, but it's because, like. Oh, I don't know. Because you're pregnant. Because you're pregnant. Oh. Either way, like, no shade to anybody anyway. No, we love everyone and there's no shade to anyone. But I just in my mind was like, someone's gonna be thinking that we were sharing rooms. But anyway. Yeah. So sort out. And then what was I doing? Itinerary. Make sure. Obviously, photographer had anything done, Pat. In terms of, like, flowers, the little petals that would go on the floor. Yeah. The location was set. Like, you checked the weather updates, things like that. Just know, like, okay, well, we have to change location potentially. But God was good. I didn't know that he was so good. Yeah, he's obviously so good. So if you're ever doing a proposal in Malaga, literally, we'll tag him. We'll tag him below. But, yeah, make sure you get in Contact with him. And. Yeah. So then after that point, I kind of get into the day. Oh, outfit. This lady, she was. Honestly, she stressed my life and her mum because she. Because obviously I basically throwing her off to be like, you know, we're not getting, you know, engaged. Like, we're getting engaged soon, but it's not going to be, like, soon. So she was like, okay, cool. So with this trip, she's like, I'm just gonna wear jeans and a blouse. I'm like, I know. If you wear jeans and a blouse, I propose to you, even though you will be happy, you'll be like, why do they do that? You'll be upset at yourself. Not. Yeah. So I was like, I'm not gonna let that. But correct me if I'm wrong. Right. I feel like when we first talked about outfits for Malaga, you said to me, trousers. No, I said, like, something. I said, like, calm and casual. I don't think I said trousers, but. What I wore was not calm and casual. It wasn't. But I was trying not to, like, throw you off too much. I was trying to, like, work it in bit by bit. But calm and casual. And it's like, okay, you know what? Actually, so you. So you can understand why I said, nice jeans and a nice top. Nice. Yeah. But I wasn't gonna wear trainers. No. But I was like, okay, cool. Actually going to a nicer restaurant, you know, it's your birthday. So I was trying to work in bit by bit. And thankfully, she was actually able to find a nice dress, which was absolutely amazing. You've seen the pictures? Yes. I actually googled proposal dress. Funnily enough, I didn't think I was getting proposed to, but I was like, if there is a slight chance. And I said. I even said to my mum when I was shopping for it, I was like, I wonder how many proposal dresses I'm gonna have to buy, because this is stressful, trying to find a proposal. Dress in throwing her off, I was basically like, yeah, you know, just get prepared each week time we go away. Yeah. He was like. She was. He was like, be prepared every weekend. Yeah. But obviously every weekend. We weren't going, like, somewhere fancy. No. So I at least made sure there. Were another maybe, like, two occasions, which she thought it could have been. There was one time where we were walking to the coat station when. From London, but, like, to the coat station. And then, like, you went another road down that I didn't think you were gonna go, like, walking there. And, like, I don't know why my heart Dropped. I was like, is he proposing to me? But I was like, I look really, like, not great right now. But I was like, you look great always. Thanks. But I was like, oh, maybe. I don't know. I was like. I was, like, ultra aware. But then I was so not ultra aware on the trip, which I'm actually really grateful for. And what I told you about the other day, about you leaving your notes on the bookshelf. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Like, I had all my notes again, the end game up on my phone. And I think there was a notes of the speech. The speech, yeah. So I was literally just so tired. So the night before, this guy. Oh, let's see. Basically, like, let's just do. This is so all over the place. But we're just gonna do Cliff Notes. Because if not, this video end up being like, yeah, a whole docu series. So, no. Long story short, I had forgot my passport back at home and my family couldn't even find it. Thankfully, they did, because the help of the Holy Spirit dropped it on my heart that it was in my athletics spike bag. And for. Why? I don't even know. I don't know. I think because I was trying to bring my spikes with me. Because you wanted to train, do some training. Did I even end up doing training? I don't think I did. You didn't. But anyway. You went for a run. I went for a run, but I didn't do athletics. But anyway, sorry about that. Need you. What? Sorry. But no. Yeah. By the way, I found that. And I had to do, like, three. Journeys back and forth, so you'd already come. And then he went to a client meeting. I was working in the morning, I opened the door and he's like, you're gonna be so mad at me right now. And then. And then I was like, what? And he's like, I forgot my password. I thought he was joking. Oh, yeah. Like, I've. We. In her mind, she's like, oh, we can't go on the trip. In my mind, I was like, we have to. We have to go. Proposal. You know, it's like, crazy. Yeah. But anyway, so that was sorted. We found it. That was all good. Yeah. So we'll leave. So the night of. The night of, before the. Before we went to. We went to the airport in the morning. Mum had Naz's car, so she drove us. And in the morning, because Naz usually stays with my godmother, because it was like we had to leave the house at 3am it literally made no sense. We had used. Yeah, we had youth. Sort of like a panel night. Yeah, like a relationship panel night. Which is so funny because it was single dating. Married. Married. Yeah, obviously we're the dating category. Like one day, like the last day of being dating. How timely. And that finished at 10. We

left at 10 or 10: 22:39

30. Just. Yeah, we were like chatting, we

were trying. So let's say we left at 10. Got back at 10: 22:42

30, so it made no sense for Naz to go back to my godmother's house. So we basically have to leave the house about 3am yeah. So he was downstairs. I was going to get something from the kitchen probably. Like, I think I was getting Ikea zip lock bags for, like, my toiletries and I saw that your phone was on. On the bookshelf. Yeah. And I went and I saw like, some sort of romantic thing. Yeah, but like, you're very romantic anyway, like, which you're like, I'm glad about. Like, you better be glad for. Because if you weren't, like, naturally romantic, I'd be like, what's this then? I see. Is it for me? Yeah, God forbid. Yeah. So I was like, oh, bless him. He's probably just, like gonna say something nice at dinner. So, like. Because obviously it was my birthday, like, straight afterwards, so I was like, you know, maybe we're going somewhere nice. He did say, like, I'm wearing a nice dress, like, we might just do something cute. That was actually a proposal speech that I didn't read. So thankfully she didn't read it. But, yeah, for note, guys, just be a bit more sort of, don't be too suspicious where, like, she thinks what's going on, but try to be a bit more, I guess, careful than I was just in case. I feel like there's always room for mistakes. Yeah, there is. I mean, so you just gotta pray for God's grace. No, honestly, it is God's way. Because many different opportunities were like, I was like, did I slip up here? But I think God just made you a bit not dumb. Yes, but he made. I would agree, he made you a bit dumb. So in. In that time, my mum also had to change Naz's name on her phone to Auntie Dion. Shout out to Anthony. Because I was like, one time, like, Auntie Dion messaged and was like, thank you for trusting me with her. I'm thinking with what though, like. But shoot, either way. Yeah, regardless. So, yeah, we come to the day, we get to the airport, we arrive, obviously, head over to the hotel and then we're Just kind of doing our sort of itinerary. We get breakfast, go to some of the museums. Now it's took me to the spot that we ended up getting our wedding pictures done. Yeah, I did. So we went up to the wedding or the gibral. This guy does Spanish lessons. So he's flexing a little bit. Just flex my muscles over here. But no. Shout out to your Spanish teacher. Shout out to Jorge. Okay. If you guys ever on that Preply app and you want some Spanish lessons, hit him up. He's actually. You're doing really well. Even when we went to Portugal, because it's quite similar. They started giving us Portuguese menus because of him. They thought I was Portuguese even when I went to Portugal. My family. To be honest, though, even when I went to Lisbon, they thought I was Portuguese because of my hair, I think. Until you opened your mouth and like, oh, no. Just. Yeah. This white girl, what's she doing there? No, she's my. She's my. I said, she's my honey bunny. Honey bunny. My honey bunny. Anyways. But anyway, so then we got changed. We got changed, went to. Went out to drinks. To drinks. I said we were going to drinks, and she's like. I said, we're gonna be late. She's like, now. I just called them. I'm like, cool. They were in the taxi, and he was like, yeah, they don't have a phone number. I was like, what bar doesn't have a phone number? And she's like, oh, no, just call them. Like, oh, why am I gonna call them? Because it's like. Like, there's no reservation. She might hear the phone call and whatnot. I'm like, cool. I had to say I didn't have a phone number. And thankfully, they actually didn't have a phone number. I don't know why, but. Oh, well, that was really good. Yeah. So it worked out. Obviously, messaging Mikhail at that point, say like, okay, we're on the way. He's like, okay, just hold off five minutes. And that worked out because we were late anyway. And then I was trying to find. We got out of taxi. I was so panicked, I left her in the taxi. I was meant to grab her hand to come out because we were in this Mercedes Sprinter exec and she obviously has to step down. And she's wearing heels. She's like, naz, what are you doing? And then the catchy driver's laughing. What was it that I said? What did you say again? I said, naz, you can't do this on our wedding Day. And that was literally seconds before we got engaged. So sorry. It was like a Spongebob meme. Oh, no, Mr. Krabs. He's like, yeah, just run the kid. So I was making sure I had everything on me because, you know, I already had the stress of, like, leaving my passport. Want to make sure. Do I actually have the ring on me? So I did, thankfully. And then, yeah, I was trying to find the spot. Then Mikal, the photographer, and Denny, his partner, doing the videography, to give us a bit of a small wave. You'd notice that. No. And then I walked over, and she's like, where are we going to? I'm like, oh, we're just, you know, trying to see something. Well, because basically what it was is it was like. What would you call it? Like a marina. Pictures, I guess, like, insert here. And then. So on one side was where we got engaged, where the water side is, where all of the restaurants are lined up. Naz was looking towards the water when I'm like, the restaurants are here. I'm like, why are you looking there? And then he was like, oh, just come over here for a second. And then I saw you see petals. And you're like, what's going on? Well, I knew. Exactly. You knew what's. Actually, I turned around, and you're like, what? And I'm like, yeah, this is it. What did you say to me? Did you smile to me? I can't remember. I was shaken so much my brain, like, I constantly go back and get. Do the speech and whatnot, but, like, my brain was fried. You did the speech really well. I did it well. But, like, if I can tell you, like, why I said the word for it on that day, I can't. I can just go back and say, like, speech. But more or less, I was like, I knew from day one that it wouldn't just be me getting to know you, but you would be the one who would get to know me, which is a big difference, you know, because you can get to know lots of people, but when you allow somebody to, like, actually get to know your heart, that means you've gained a different level of vulnerability. What's that saying where it's like, to be loved is to be known to be known. Exactly. So. So you. You can love without being known, and you can know without loving. But if you love and with full knowledge, that's true love. That's true love in any sense. Not even just romantic. Doesn't just be romantic. No, just. But yeah, with your. Your main partner for Life. That is very important to know. I was like, you know, I thank you for letting me, you know, see that beautiful smile. And there's almond eyes glisten. Yeah. Every single day. Look. I was like, yeah. And then what about the 101 questions? Oh, basically, we were doing 101 questions. What's his name? The author will probably tag it in again. Yeah, yeah, here. But before you get engaged, we've been doing that. I don't know. I mean, it's 101 questions. We started it in 2022 and 2022. So we did it for, like, over two years. Over two years. Which, if you asked it, like, literally, like, every week, one a week. That probably still takes you up to our time frame. About. But obviously we sometimes. We sometimes did, like, a good few. Good few. And then we also had our break. And our break, which we'll get on to, but in the next video. Next video. So stay tuned. But, yeah, so I kind of. What's the word? Like, slyly asked her, like, the last seven or so questions in the week and the day of the actual proposal without her knowing. And then, yeah, obviously, I came to her and I was like, question 102, Elodie Christina Jones, will you marry me? And I said, no at first. She punched me in the face. And then, yeah, I guess I woke up and she's like, you know what? I came to my senses while she was sleep. This beautiful chocolate man. So he actually asked me the 101st. Well, the last, like, what, nine questions or however many questions on the day. But he was dropping them in because obviously if he got to 101, I'm thinking, wedding bells. I can't hear them. So he actually asked them, not in, like, the structured way where we usually sit down. It was like, kind of more tailored within discussion and flowing conversation so that you wouldn't. I don't even remember it. No, neither do I. You know, honesty. Like, my brain. Once he stood up, he goes, I'm so glad that's over. I literally just felt like my brain had just become more like. Yeah, like, I was happy that I. Did it, but, gosh, that was bliss, though. Like, obviously the photo shoot was beautiful, and I felt like. Like it made. It was very romantic taking the pictures. And then once we had dinner, it was just like, oh, it was the best day. Yeah, it was the best day. We had a really nice, like, you know, second day there, going around, doing a couple more sites. I think the next question after that was, were you scared? Were I scared? You Know, funnily enough, I wasn't on the day. I was more scared about, like, I didn't want to mess up or, like, make anything slip out for myself. So you weren't she scared about doing it? Oh, no. Like, I feel like I was, like. What a confident boy. No, I mean, obviously don't remember I'd been like, many different points during our relationship, like, scared. Oh, my gosh, can I do this? Can't do this. Can I do this? But I feel like God gave me from, like, leaning into him and then obviously the wisdom of, like, brothers around me who have, like, kind of walked this journey before. You know, Leke, who is, you know, getting married this year, and then obviously Shimon Tayo, many other people, you know, who I've spoken to about this, able to give me some advice. Obviously, they've. They're married or, you know, like, he's about to get married. So I was able to, like, kind of just be encouraged in regards to what I need to do, how I need to prep myself, and then, yeah, I kind of felt like it was the right time, you know, that's good. Fast moving forward. So I wasn't fearful in that regard. That kind of leads on to the next question, to be honest, which is, when's the right time to propose? When is the right time to propose? I think the right time to propose. Ladies, I. I'm sorry about this, but look, it's. It's when the guy's ready. I mean, obviously, like, again, if you. If you're then not ready and the guy wants to then propose, that's a bit of a different. Yeah, that's. That's a whole nother. But. And then also, if your man isn't preparing to get engaged and he's not being proactive, you have every right to not stick around. Yeah, you don't. Like, if, like, it's. Yeah, just an end of cycle of, like, there's no sort of actual clarity as to, like, what's actually happening here. You. You clearly want to get married and it's just been ages and there's no, like, sensors working towards anything, then of course, yeah, don't just be held hostage there. The right time is when the guy is ready. That's what I can say. And when you guys feel like you're in a place where you're submitted to God, and, yeah, I just wanted to go forward. It's not about perfection. Not at all. We've learned that for ourselves. No doubt about that. But, yeah, I feel like you will know And I think, yeah, ladies, like, let your guy know. Like, you let me know that. No new. Either way, strong suit. It's Spanish. It's actually a second language. It's those third. He was born. I'm speaking Yoruba. Yeah. And he learned Spanish, so he only learned English, like, when we met. Yeah. I taught him how to speak English, so any mistakes is my fault. Okay, this question's for me. What was important for you to see in Naz before being ready for marriage? And what was important for Nas to see in you before getting ready to propose? I mean, I was, like, more ready for marriage than you. Like, I think this was a perfect time for me to get married, but I think mentally I probably would have been ready maybe, like, April last year, I think, like, mentally, but not with us. No, but mentally, I think, like, my life. Yes. But again, as Naz said, like, that's not a healthy relationship for me if I force him into marriage. So I think that's exactly me. Like, I knew Naz was ready because I knew that it was off his own back and not off of me, like, being like, naz, we should get married. And you're like, I don't know about that, girl. I don't know about that. And it's not that Naz ever wanted to marry me. It's just, like, his own readiness. And we'll talk about that in the next video anyway. And then what about you? Seeing me seeing you, I think, for one, you had a lot more trust for me. I don't think that. Yeah. And I think you were just, you know, very. I mean, just seeing, like, how you supported me, how you just made my life so rich and just wanted to, you know, obviously the best of me, champion me, and guess the way in which we relate, you know, made it so easy for me to just want to be able to actually step more into that leadership role, obviously, which I'm still growing in. But it was becoming a lot easier because we had both matured in the way, which was, I guess you were, you know, easily able to just trust and submit to God and then trust me that I was submitting to God and able to, like, care for you in that way. And, you know, I mean, there was no doubt. I think it's more case of, for me, more than, like, seeing stuff in you, so say. Because that was from early on. But, yeah, you were just also very sort of stable and, you know, maturing so beautifully in your own right. And so I was like, you know, I can't keep holding that on such a. You know, when you found someone good. Gentlemen, when you find someone good. When you find a wife. When you find a wife, you find a good thing. So, period. Yeah. Don't take time on it when you do. When you guys first met when you were younger, did you expect this, as in marriage? Could you tell from the very beginning that you'd end up marrying? Or was it more of a gradual realization? And then obviously, how did you two know you're right for. For each other? Quick short answer. We knew there was doubts throughout the journey. Yeah. But I think we always. The overarching sense was knowing that that was going to be. God had given us so much clarification. And it was more just like trials that we went through that was like, God, like, did we actually hear you? But we did. Yeah. That's why it's important to obviously go back to, like, not looking at situations and circumstances and emotions and emotions. Of course, I get wrong. They should definitely be highlighted. Yes. And also, this is not a license to say, let your mans treat you however. Or your girls treat you however. And then you just, like, get married because you feel like it's right. This is very much rooted in spiritual maturity together, not just you. If your man's not praying with you or your girl's not praying with you, then I don't have much to say for advice. No. But I think it's just important to get, like, community. Yeah. Around you, you know, people, even if you're not saying necessarily, like, comfortable with, like, just it being just your family. Because you might want to speak about certain things, which is like, oh, you know, I love Mum and Dad, but. No gonna speak to mom and dad about that. The ins and outs of, like, every single thing we're doing in a relationship. Which is healthier. Again. Yeah. It's good to have people outside, like, mentors that are able to, like. And people use similar age, maybe a bit older but similar age to kind. Of speak into your life, you know, that was helpful. Really helpful for us especially when we sort of worked that into our relationship at about the year and a half mark. Definitely do it from a lot sooner, guys. Yeah. But also, we just didn't have solid church family, I guess, before that until then. Yeah. That's also very true. That's also. We new Christians. Yeah. Yeah. But, yeah, we knew pretty much straight away this one. I'm interested to know what you think. If you don't have an answer, that's okay because I don't think I do. But I wrote it just in case you had anything. What are the spiritual and emotional boundaries that you guys had in place as boyfriend and girlfriend and now as fiance's don't have. You mean you guys had in place. Spirituality, but yeah, like we don't have. Yeah. I guess like how you're. You're growing because we're fiances. I'm trying to think. I don't really know. Maybe like they're more or less quite similar. I say obviously because we're going along the way towards marriage. There's. We have more open conversations. Maybe there's a couple more open conversation, but it's still needing to know the mindset. Like, yeah, we're fiance and there's a ring on her finger, but it's not. We haven't. We're not married still. I think maybe like working towards engagement. We were very strong on being a team together, but I would say maybe like very much practically presenting ourselves as a team. Yeah. Like maybe not just internally, like privately, but I think maybe like when it comes like friends and family, we very much like prioritize one another. Yeah. Within those situations. I think that's why I can say because early days you're still getting to know somebody. Even if you like, yeah, this is a person who's going to be the one. It's still very early days. You still need to get to know each other. So I feel like doing that early would probably be a bit too much. But I think obviously. Yeah. Sang. Which we've obviously do so now. Yeah. And I think maybe like because we knew we were going towards engagement. I think it wasn't. We probably started intentionally walking towards those things anyway. It wasn't like. It was like a shock to me. It was a shock. But I knew you were going to propose. Yeah. So that makes sense. Yeah. So I. For that. Yeah. I mean, if you guys have any advice for spiritual and emotional boundaries. Yeah. I would love to hear. But I also kind of think in marriage it's probably like because we're not intimate. Yeah. There's probably like a whole depth that we don't even know about. So we might have those boundaries just because we have the physical. And also we're not living together. So so many different things that we're not exposed to each other anyway and we wouldn' Be. Yeah. So maybe like things will just change and grow. I think marriage more intense, I guess depth. Like I feel like something which you have to also like the black and white. So like again, if you're somebody who wants to, you know, Certain place boundaries and follow God and not put yourself in danger of, you know, slipping up, then yeah, of course it's like the black and white boundaries. But in terms of other things, I think it's going to be person to person, relationship to relationship. So I wouldn't say that we can necessarily give you an answer on that. Especially because we don't want to say something and like now taken as Bible when it's not Bible. Yeah. So we will leave that for I guess, one on one consultation period. Okay. The next question is what should you never compromise on a relationship? You give one, I give one. Or should never compromise on being somebody who actually loves Jesus? I would say particularly for women, don't compromise on leading in your relationship and don't try to lead in your relationship. Like I struggle with leading, like wanting to take the lead. And then Naz has had to work on becoming a leader. But the differences, like when you have a man who might, it might not come naturally, which I feel like is normal. Like you said in your leadership Bible that my parents got you. Yeah. Leadership isn't born. It's tall. It's tall. But you have to be willing to want to lead. Yeah. So I think like that's something that I would tell women never to compromise on. Is a man that has no willingness to do that. I think just to go in a bit off that, like he's not saying you need to be subservient as a woman. It's not saying that you need to be like, you know, shut up, don't speak because we're here now. I'm on her channel, she's leading the conversation. I'm just keying in. Yeah. But doesn't take you away from the fact that like God has an order and. Yeah. And that order, I think coming from a very like strong minded person, that order has actually helped me not feel so overwhelmed. And it's not like restricted me. Obviously we've not gone into marriage yet, but there's been a lot of things that I have battled with that God has given me peace. Because nad leads with God at the forefront. Yeah. And if I am humble enough to let God lead my life, I'm humble enough to work with someone that God calls to be a leader over me. Like it's like my dad for instance. Like my dad was called to be my. Well, he is still my leader until we get married. Or like a boss, you know, a good boss, you can submit to a. Good thing because look, many people, bosses and organizations who their employees are more Skilled than them. But they are still the boss. Certain reasons. And doesn't mean that oh, they're sort of boss. So that means we're not saying like that, but like again, like it's not to say that women then don't have a lot of people give the sort of points. Well, I'm better at him than this and better him and that. And it's like, that is beautiful. And if you have a good leader, he will, you know, again, as any good boss would, he'd be like, he would champion you in that. He'd be like, look, babe, you know this better than me. So, you know, let you take the lead on, let you sort of take the lead in that sense. But in terms of, as an overarching sense, he is still to be the leader. And I think also a good man helps you cultivate your, your skills and your skills and your strengths. Like today did some of your website. Exactly. So I'm helping Naz with his interior website. So I do a lot of the design, I do all the designs and the copy. Basically building his website and I'm basically doing it with little to no input from Naz. He kind of knows that I know what he. I trust you. Yeah, I gave some inputs and guidance, but I've noticed like, I trust you. I know you know what to do. And it's kind of what you can see as like a good leadership isn't a case of like necessarily having the good skill sets on what to do, but it's being able to delegate, being able to sort of structure and manage. But doesn't mean that again, it's like, it's like a manager in football anyway. Like you have a manager in football. They are not Cristiano Ronaldo, they're not Messi. No, but they are still the manager. And they also a big part of management is support, support and tending to. Tending to the team, you know, turning to their emotions, checking on them, giving. Some structure to everything and also giving them freedom. Freedom to do what they need to do. Put every single person together. I don't believe that one role is greater than the other. But I believe as a woman, God is called us to greater than leading our home. We still lead in different areas. You can still be a natural leader in your home and have a leader. I believe that you can't leave. I believe that having a husband, having a man in your life who has grown in the leadership qualities that actually he helps you reach your God given potential rather than be held back by something that you should Never do. Because really and truly a woman who fully leads in their house whilst having, if you have, want to have children, if you have children and other different things that you're doing, I believe that actually you're restricted and you're overwhelmed. You will be. But like, I think I'm wrong. We. There's so much brokenness in the world and we have to as Christians, not allow the broken relationships that we see dictate us away from what the truth of God's word. And again, that's so true. If it says it in his words. I could try and convince you to then blow in the face. But you know, it's not just coming from us. And again, there's so many count situation where like you look outside and it's like, you know what? I get it. I get why people wouldn't want men to lead because we've done a lot of bad. But when you are in the right relationship, I don't think I've seen it countless times between women who are similar to you. You know, very strong willed, independent. But then they're like, wow, like I'm just, I'm not. She's not become subservient. She's doing what she's doing. She's thriving. She's killing it. Man, I'm so proud of you. Thanks. But you've become so soft and just able to. I mean like my feminine era. Yeah. Like actually resting in my femininity. Not trying to be over masculine, but like, you'll see me and Naz, like, well, right now you probably can see it. But if you like know us. Naz is very soft and I'm not do the roar. But like, that doesn't mean now that I'm a leader in our relationship and you can very much see that Naz's way of leading. He's a very soft leader and I'm a very strong submisser. So like I don't. I. I'm still myself while submitting to you. I'm not like this soft girl that never speaks. Like, how I am on my podcast is how I am in real life. Like, I talk. Yeah. And I yap and I have strong opinions. Be like, okay. But sometimes he has to put me in line. Don't get me wrong, like rightfully so. Like sometimes like him and my mum, I just like Elodie, just, just go that way a little bit and I'm like, okay. And then sometimes I'm like to you Nazi enough to like be brave and confident. Yeah. Yeah. It's like we're a partnership, we'll support one another. But yeah, let's put another in our roles in which God has given us. I think you love one another more when you're both walking in your roles. Because you're going to be frustrated at me if I'm taking over your role and then I'm going to be frustrated at you even if it's not conscious. Yeah. But it's a subconscious frustration of why can't you be what I'm doing? Because I'm only doing it because you are lacking and I don't trust you enough. Okay. So this one about us living together and it was like, if you guys are long distance and didn't have frequent periods of prolonged in person interaction, do you expect any challenges to come up when moving in together permanently? Are there challenges that might be different for a couple that wasn't long distance? And obviously someone said now that you'll be moving in together, how will you adapt? How will you adapt now as moving to a new city away from where you were raised? Well, for one, we aren't moving in together until we are married. Well, yeah, I think that's what they meant anyway. Yeah. Okay, cool. But he's like, let me just make that clear. But no. So moving to a new city. I've been coming back and forth, you know, to visit you for the past four years now. So I've gotten adapted and used to it. And yeah, I guess for me it's like it's a new and exciting journey. I've also, it's not the first time I've moved from home in a sense. I went to boarding school and then uni for seven years and I went to uni and I've traveled around a lot for work and things like that. So it's not like it's completely unknown to me. And also like the UK is so small, so there's no which you can go to which is really too far unless you're going to like Glasgow or something like that. Yeah, yeah. But even thought you can probably get like a cheaper flight than you could a train ticket to most places, the uk. So that works out. Yeah, I mean, just nice to be around you. And I've become familiar with, you know, where we're going to be living. So that's quite nice. Yeah, yeah. Safer to raise kids and quieter as well. So. Yeah. And then how about us? Well, me being an only child. Oh, you not. Did I mention that question? No. So I didn't. No. Okay. The question was what influence do you think? Oh, so the first bit was about long distance challenges. I don't think we'll know until we get married. I don't think we all know because it's. Even if you aren't long distance, but you haven't lived together. Yeah, it's always different. Like, my parents found the exact same thing. Even though they live, like, two streets. Down from each other, you still haven't lived together before marriage. So. And then the other one. Yeah, the other one was about what influence do you think you being an only child, growing up with no siblings, unlike Naz, will have on your marriage? This is more a me question. It's more of you question. So I definitely have only child syndrome. And, like, I'll be very honest about that. Hi, I'm Elodie Go. Hi, Elodie. Alcohol Anonymous. I have only child syndrome. Talk us through it. Yeah. So luckily I have cousins, so I think that has helped it not be, like, run rampant in my life. But I don't share anything. I don't have to share anything. I don't share my room. I don't share my bathroom. I don't share any of my clothes. I don't have anyone trying to take my clothes. I. Yeah, like, you share room with your brother and you have, like, clothes in the same wardrobe. No different wardrobes. Okay, again, so, like, we should. You wear Harif's clothes. I'll be like, oh, I didn't see this. Yeah. He was like, yeah, that's Hareem. Like, he's wearing the line. That kind of thing. So it's like, never happened. Yeah. So you never had that. Never had, like, a younger brother, like, storm into my room and, like, mess up my makeup or something. Yeah. Or just be like, you're doing something. It's like, oh, hi. Yeah, I've not had noise. I'm on FaceTime to NASA. Don't get wrong. Like, my mum's chatty, but I don't. Like, you'll get, like, your siblings just coming in and chatting to you. Like, I'll hear, like, Sara, like, singing in the background or something. I don't have that, so that'll be interesting. I don't know what challenges we'll face until we get there. I guess we'll keep you guys updated when we are married. Yeah. But I don't actually know. Like, I think probably there's gonna be a few things. Yeah. I think it's just a case of, like, you don't necessarily know, but it's good to have the awareness that, like, These things might play a part because. And then if there's an argument, at least the person who's like, not an argument, but like, if you call me up on it. Yeah. It's not like a shock to me. Like, I might not. I'll like, pray that I will, but I can't promise I'll handle it. Well, exactly. But I'll have the self awareness. Exactly. So I'll be like, you know what? Now you're probably. Fair enough. Last question. Is baby number one soon? Soon after we're married. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. We'll have to see little baby ramen. What Jesus is saying about. About that one. We were looking at baby clothes today. Oh, yeah. Not on purpose. Not on purpose. We just went in Tesco and now it's like nearly crying looking at them. He's. Oh, yeah, yeah. But no, like, I've. Weird. Obviously we. Obviously we want. We. We love kids. We want to have kids and we don't want it to be too long after. Could we. You know, I don't want to be taking kids to primary school at 50. No. But each their own. But yeah, not for me, man. I want to be living life. Yeah, yeah, but no. Yeah, so no. No kids right now, but kids on the card. We do want children. Yeah. Yeah. Now it's one of four. I said two, so maybe three. Yeah, we'll see how it goes. I'm hoping that we have a boy and a girl so Naz forgets about it. I'm hoping that we can, you know, just have the. Coming as a surprise. Anyways, guys, we love you. And Naz will be back again next week where we talk about boundaries. Not boundaries. That was our last video, our first ever video about the break. Yeah. It's been a long day. It's been a long day. We're going to talk about the break and why. How. How we got out of it. Yeah. The whole shebang. But yeah. I love you guys so much. Thanks, Naz, for coming on the podcast. We love you, Wendy. Goodbye. Bye. That was translation. Okay, see you guys. Bye.