i burned out.

hey homegirls, it’s been a while 🥹

today’s episode is just a bit of a catch up because it's been a HOT minute.

but it's also a reminder that when life feels heavy, God is still working. the past few months have been ghettoooo. burnout, busyness, and just feeling pulled in every direction. but through it all, God’s been teaching me about purpose, patience, and obedience in the midst of chaos.

💭 in this episode, we talk about:

• feeling like your passion has slipped away
• navigating burnout and spiritual fatigue
• trusting God when your calling feels impossible
• balancing work, faith, and personal purpose
• remembering that consistency doesn’t equal calling
• how God can still use you in the weird/ uncertain seasons

📖 scriptures mentioned:

• colossians 3:2 – set your minds on things above, not on earthly things
• ephesians 2:10 –for we are God’s handiwork, created in christ jesus to do good works
• esther 4:14 – you were called for such a time as this
• john 10:10 – i came that they may have life, and have it abundantly

⏱ chapter markers:
00:00 – where i’ve been
02:00 – burnout
05:30 – spiritual warfare
07:00 – inconsistency 
10:00 – perfectionism
12:30 – responsibility
14:00 – your calling is still valid
15:30 – God’s timing
18:00 – there’s still space for your voice
21:00 – update!

Transcript

[00:00:00] You guys must hate me and I don't hate myself, and I don't think you hate me too. I was gonna say I hate myself. I don't hate myself. That is exactly what the enemy would want me to say about myself. Um, hi. How y'all doing? 

I've been going for a hot minute. And I just wanted to make a podcast basically to say hi again.

And rather than go straight into a random episode where I'm talking about something, I just wanted to say hi, you know, like I feel like out of common courtesy, explain where I've been, what I've been doing, why I'm back, that I'm back.

These last five months have had me in a [00:01:00] choke hold. 2025 has had me in a choke hold. I have had the hardest year of my life, and I'm just gonna be honest and say that because there is no way of sugarcoating, and I feel like if I'm gonna be a relatable influencer, whatever you wanna call me podcaster person on the internet.

I need to be honest and there are some things I can't fully be honest with at the moment. There's been a lot of things I've been going through and I'm not ready to share and talk about it. Um, but I will just say that life has been hard. Life has been difficult. And honestly, I dunno where these last five months have gone.

Well, I know where they've gone. But at the same time, how has it been five months since I've put up my microphone and put on my camera? I don't know. Life flies so quickly. When you are not having fun, it [00:02:00] actually goes really slowly, but at the same time, your passions and your hobbies can like slip out of your fingers and you blink and you're like, I've literally not been living my life.

I've not been enjoying my life, and I've not been doing the things that God wants me to do. Like. This podcast, my YouTube content creation, all of that, I really believe that this is what I've been called to do, whether it's forever or for a short time, I just know that this is what I've wanted to do since I was seven years old, wanted to be a YouTuber, and I had the

full experience of doing that I like fulfilled my dream. If you wanna say that, when I was in school, in college, in lockdown, I got to film loads of videos and do what I wanted to do, although I didn't know myself then. So it was a really difficult battle with myself of like fighting [00:03:00] against what trends were saying, what people were saying about me, and then who I really was and the content that I really wanted to make.

I don't think I really knew what the content. Was that I wanted to make. I didn't know who I was. There's just a lot of barriers to that. So as I've grown up and I'm like, wow, like this is really what I wanna do. This is who I am, this is how I wanna live my life. These are like my true passions, not just like a hobby on the side.

This is like, I want to commit to this full time. I, I wish and I pray and I hope that one day I can do this. Now all of a sudden, life is so much more complicated. You've got work, you've got money, you've got responsibilities, you've got the need for stability. And this thing I keep fighting against and I then blink and months have gone by and I've not done it, even though it's a thing that I love the most.

[00:04:00] And you would think working full time. It would give you the freedom to like fulfill your hobbies without feeling like you have to make it super successful. You have to make money, whatever. And that is true, but it also means if you are pursuing a career, your career takes over your ability to have the brain

space to do anything outside of that. And that's been my personal experience and it's not been the whole way through my career, but these last five months, yeah, I'm gonna just, I'm gonna just leave it at that. I will fill you guys in properly when the time is right. Um, but I have been incredibly burnt out and it has been a really, really tough period of life for me with just burnout on top of a lot of other stuff that's going on in my personal life. Don't worry. Me and Nas are fine before you say or worry about that. Me and [00:05:00] Nas are fine. It has nothing to do with him. Um, yeah, it's just been a very unfortunate time for me and I know that enemy wants to steal my joy.

He wants to steal yours. He wants to steal everyone's and. He will be successful at that if you give in. And one of the things that I was giving into was feeling like, maybe this isn't for me in terms of YouTube content, whatever. I was like, I'm not gonna do it anymore. I think I'm gonna quit. And I remember telling NAS that, and he just looked so disappointed.

Not in me, but just in my thought process with that. And I really. Was insecure and felt like there's no way that I can do this with the life that I have right now. And like humanly, no. Like there, there isn't, like I can't see in my logic a way that I'm gonna make this work where I can [00:06:00] pursue this as a true hobby.

Have all the other responsibilities that I have. I don't know how I'm gonna do that, but I just know that when my God says something, I'm gonna listen and I'm gonna obey. I have had this dream since I was seven years old, and I find it really difficult when I go away and I, you know, don't post for ages. My instant worry is how much progress could I have made in that time, whether it's.

You know, the statistical progress of the numbers and the followers, whatever. But I'm more thinking how could I have got better in that time? I could have kept the, kept up, the consistency. It could have become part of my life. It could have filled my cup in a way, and. If I am already at an empty cup and then I'm trying to especially do a podcast where I'm talking about God and I'm teaching and I'm preaching whatever it is, I'm giving advice and wisdom.

Yes, that is hard, and you just feel like [00:07:00] you are sucking yourself of energy, but that's why you need to have a solid relationship with God and also know when it's time to step back, know when it's time to even talk about less heavy topics, things that you don't feel like it is sucking out of you because you've not fully penetrated that truth yourself.

That's something that I've had to learn. Um, but I want to have a life where I can do this. I've always wanted that. So when I go time without it, that's what I'm thinking. And then I'm also thinking, gosh, people must think that I. Don't take this seriously. People must think that I've got things that take higher precedence in this.

And yes, there are unfortunately things that take higher precedence in this because I am a 23-year-old in a full-time job, saving money for a wedding, buying a house, all that stuff. That's another life update I need to give. Um, yeah, money. [00:08:00] It's just the reality and I know so many people can relate to me and it is so hard.

Going from that transition of never having to worry about money, not never having to worry about money. Like I think the standard person in life has to worry about money, but in school you're not thinking about making a career. This is just a hobby, you know? Like, yes, it'd be nice if I could make some money, but I'm not.

It's not my livelihood. Therefore, you get something that gives you that livelihood, you make that money, and then poof. Your dreams of becoming a YouTuber is out the window because you gotta make that money and you gotta go to work every day. And then when you come home from work, you're tired. You have to do this, but then you don't wanna do it.

And it's just like, it's a real spiritual battle. Like I really believe that the devil has, like we've been warring over these last like. Well years, but particularly over these last five months where I have been in and out of like wanting to do this, [00:09:00] not wanting to do this, knowing that this is what truly makes me happy, but not having the energy or the like happiness already.

Like I didn't have the joy. And peace from the Lord I did. It was, you know, we always have it. We always have access to it. We live in the new covenant, but we don't have to beg for these things. But I wasn't opening myself up to have that and have that confidence that everything's gonna work out. And if I'm honest, and do I still get worried?

Yes, I was literally in bed, not sleeping last night because I was worried about how I'm gonna make all this work. Um. I'm just at a really, really difficult place in my life right now where I'm, I'm fighting to feel something, not feel something spiritually, because I think my relationship with God has actually been really, really good recently.

But feeling like you're doing something that isn't providing you with. [00:10:00] Joy and with fulfillment, and then you're looking at other people who are doing something similar to you and you're not envious. I don't envy people. I always wish good for people and I'm so glad that they have had that opportunity, but you think, gosh, if only I did it like this back then if only I continue to stay consistent.

But I was, I have just been in a really difficult crossroads of balancing life and responsibilities with passion. And calling and purpose from God, but the two should merge. I should be able to do this and not worry about stability, and that's what I'm trusting God for. And. I said to myself the other day, I was in the shower.

I'm always in the shower when I'm having deep thoughts. It just, it's just my place. You know? Sorry for the water bill, because I'm in there a long time thinking, and I was thinking and praying and I was like, there is no better time than now. [00:11:00] I could say, oh, well, when I have this, when I move on to this, when this frees up, when I have more time, when I'm in my new house, when I'm married, when blah, blah, blah, blah, when I have kids, whatever.

I've gone down all the way down that route to the point where when I have, when I'm married and I have kids, or when NAS is able to provide a bit more in the household, then I will do this again. It's like, Elodie, you are holding yourself back massively from just cherishing your hobby. Will I always be 100% consistent?

Maybe not. I pray that I can be, but I think setting myself up for perfection is what is stopping me from doing it at all. And feeling like I have to be at a perfect place in my life with no other worries. But when I'm doing this, I'm like in my element, like I could do this all day. I could edit [00:12:00] all day.

I could make videos all day. Just, I just love it. It really is my true passion and I have to stop running away from it. Um, and I just want you guys to know that, like, I know I don't have to explain that to you, but I don't want anyone to think, and I know people are gonna think what they think. Like, really and truly should never care.

But my true followers who have been here from like Day Dot before I even had this channel, um, I don't want you guys to think that I don't take this seriously. I don't want you guys to think that I. Don't see this as a calling on my life that I'm just trying to, I don't know, move my priorities elsewhere.

I promise you this has been like probably the biggest battle, which is why I am trying to fight through it, because the enemy will always stop you from doing the thing that you are most impactful in. I really believe that, [00:13:00] and I hope that's an encouragement to someone as well, going through whatever it is they're going through.

It doesn't even have to be something to do with work or a hobby or whatever. You know, God will always give us that small nudge of conviction of peace as well. But when we start to look earthly and we aren't looking heavenly. All of that will drop and we will just be looking with carnal eyes and we will worry and we will panic.

And that is exactly what I've been guilty of. And I know all of us are guilty of doing that, but we have to set our eyes on things above and not things below. God is seated far above all principalities and powers. Christ rose from the dead, so we may have life and have it abundantly. I'm having to remind myself of that, and I'm also having to remind myself that I was called on this earth for such a time as this and for a purpose, and so were you.

Each and every single one of us were called for something unique, [00:14:00] and even for me, when I'm looking at other content creators, Christian content creators, and not like just anyone doing something where they can be truly creative and truly. I, I believe in, in the thing that God has called them to do because I think even the non-Christians who are pursuing their hobbies and they are really good at it, God has given them that gift.

They just need to align that with him. I look at them and I'm like, wow, I wish that was me. It could never be me. Someone else is doing it. The market is too saturated. There's so many videos on YouTube, yada, yada, yada, and you go down this rabbit hole and you think, well, I'm just one little pea on this earth who is not valuable.

We were learning in church the other day about how the body of Christ is made up. You know, a hand cannot be a foot, an elbow cannot be a head. You know what I mean? All that type of stuff. I'm very much paraphrasing.

There is something unique about every single one of us. Me and you could both do Christian podcasts, we [00:15:00] could both do Christian podcasts. We could both be girls at the exact same age doing Christian podcasts, talking about similar topics, and you have something to give that I can't, I have something to give that you can't, we both can can co-exist in this space because if we were truly called by God to do it, there is space for both of us.

And we can learn from each other and we can grow from each other, and we can have unique impacts on different people or on the same people. And I really have to remind myself of that. And I want you to remind yourself of that too, that. You are truly unique. There is no one exactly like you unless you're a twin.

And even then, if you're a twin, your twin is so different than you. I wish I had a twin. No, I don't.

People keep saying you're gonna have twins. And especially because I'm marrying a Nigerian. It's this whole thing about giving birth to twins. Lord, I will love whoever. Comes out of my womb. I will love and cherish the fruit of my loin, but please do not give me twins. Please [00:16:00] don't give me twins. I just, for me, twins is like,

I just think I'm so over simulated. Like people think, oh, you can just get it out of the way. I don't wanna get out of the way. I like to drip feed, I like to experience different things at different times because it's manageable, like. If you tell me I have to clean the whole house, I'm overstimulated. If you tell me today I'm gonna clean my room tomorrow, I'm gonna clean the bathroom to the next day, I'm gonna clean the living room.

The next day I'm gonna do the kitchen. It's not saying you can't do little bits here and there, whatever, but if I can like focus, laser, focus on one thing, I'm not stressed. Two babies. What if I also, this is one thing. What if I hug one one second more than the other? At the same time, right? Like they're, they're both led like in their bed, whatever.

And I'm like, oh, here's baby one. Oh, here's baby two. Oh my gosh. I didn't hold baby one as long as baby two. Oh my [00:17:00] gosh. Now I put down baby two and now baby two's crying. Baby one's like, what's going? I was not made to have twins. Anyways, that's. I'm going off tangent, but I really, I really feel strongly about it.

I feel strongly about the fact that I do not think I was called to have twins. I know for a fact now, not for a fact, but I know there is a high possibility now that I will look back with twins in my arms and be like, I can't believe that I have twins, but I love them. Anyway. Anyway, that is all. That is all I wanted to talk about and I hope you guys can understand, and I hope you guys are encouraged.

If you guys are going through similar things to me, but yeah, I love you. Also, big announcement. If any of you, and I think most of you, I don't know, I don't actually know, you know, if a lot of you came from this channel or not, I dunno the demographic, but I am going to be [00:18:00] reactivating my old channel,

my old channel that I have not posted on for four years is going to be five years. Yes. It's basically five years. I've, because it was 2020, I have not posted on that channel in five years. Wow. It was December, 2020, the last time I posted on there. That is insane. I don't know where those five years have gone.

Yeah, in five years I'll have a child, like when you really think of it like that, I could have, wait, how old am I? 23, 24. 2 5, 2 6, 7. I could have two children by that point. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'll have one. I was thinking 27, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28. My master's so bad. [00:19:00] Potentially. But I don't wanna have kids too close together.

Anyways, we are going off tangent. Point is that time flies by so fast because I think, oh my gosh, that feels like yesterday and in five years time I will at least have one baby and I'll be married, which is really weird. So that goes to show how long time, how fast time goes. But yeah, I'm gonna go back to it.

I'm not abandoning this channel. You might also be listening. So like me talking about channel doesn't really make sense. I know it's a podcast, but I'm thinking of YouTube. This is where my main energy goes. Um, I want this channel to be completely and utterly unfiltered conversations about Jesus. I don't want to feel like I am making different content and then different audiences are coming, and then I feel like I can't talk about God in the same way.

That was exactly what happened in my [00:20:00] previous channel. I was becoming Christian. I was exploring faith, but I was talking about other things that naturally brings an array of different audiences. So I felt like I had to dim that side of me. I never hid it. I always talked about God, but I felt like I couldn't do a podcast like this, for instance, because it wouldn't fit the niche, quote unquote.

Um, I also have been in marketing now for. Four years and I know a bit more about the algorithm and just from a statistic and analytical point of view, I think it will clash if I am doing a bit of everything on this channel. Um, I want to just have a podcast channel. So you might have noticed on my YouTube this has changed to less of me podcast.

And then my old channel will be Elodie Christina. And on there I just wanna vlog life [00:21:00] behind the scenes, whatever. Because I feel like I talk to you guys a lot about what's going on in my life and I show a little bit of my personality, but it's not the same. Like I miss just like picking up a camera and just talking rubbish.

Like I'll always be Elodie, I'll always be, you know, filled with faith and conviction and love for God. But there is like more to me. Like God can be amplified and glorified. Even when I'm not sat in front of a camera talking about God, the whole video, like I can be doing different stuff. So if you're interested in that, follow along with the journey.

Um, if you're not already subscribed, I am gonna be doing like all wedding planning stuff, moving into my new flat with nas. Nas is gonna be moving to me in three months. Oh my gosh. We've been long distance for all that time and it's finally coming to an end. [00:22:00] No, we aren't moving in together. Anyway, so I'll be doing all of that. Um, just, just life, life stuff. Navigating life as a soon to be married, woman, girl, period. So yeah, if that really interests you, which I assume it would because you all really care about my life, so you should subscribe. But anyways, I love you guys so much and thank you for always loving, supporting.

Praying for me. You guys are incredible. And yeah, I am going to see you guys next week a hundred percent because I have a video that is already sitting in my drafts. I just need to finish editing it and post it. It is like actually edited. I just need to like add the front and back music. So you will a hundred percent see me next week regardless of what happens.

'cause that will take me like 10 minutes to do. So, yeah, I love you guys so much. Have a blessed week and I [00:23:00] will see you guys in the next episode. Bye.