my dad had a stroke. God is still on the throne.

this was filmed a couple weeks ago. trying to make sure i stay consistent.

thank you in advance for all your prayers!

Transcript

[00:00:00] Hey, my beautiful homegirls. I pray you are doing well. Um, this is just a quick update because I wanted to be consistent and then drew right back because of things going on in my life. You guys might have seen my post about my dad being in hospital, um, and that's been a whirlwind and that's the reason why I thought to myself today

don't ghost now because things are not in alignment in the way that you want. I'm finding it hard to find time and emotional space to film a video, but I thought even if it's just something small, like I haven't had the time to like set up my light, set up my microphone, do any editing, whatever. I'm literally just gonna boom, post this and call it a day.

Um, but. Update from my dad being in hospital. If you didn't see my post, my dad has had a stroke, [00:01:00] um, a month ago. A month ago today. Actually, no, it's not a month, it's four weeks. My understanding of months and weeks, like I know a month is four point something weeks. I just am thinking every Monday. That was when he was in hospital, but it's coming up to a month.

It's been four weeks today. Um, and he was fine to be discharged by the third day in hospital, but then he managed to catch COVID, then he managed to catch a chest infection, then he managed to catch pneumonia. Then he was recovering and essentially. To be blunt with you, there was neglect in the hospital, which caused him to be incredibly dehydrated and develop another infection in the hospital, which they were fearing would've caused sepsis.

He had to go into the ICU, which was the most, it was a night that I actually posted that post. Um, and he was stabilizing, we thought, and then we got the call at [00:02:00] about eight o'clock in the evening saying, you know, don't know the best way to put it, but he's massively declined. They were talking to us as if he was on his way out.

And when I tell you, it's so easy to say that you have strong faith until you're put in a position where you have to lean on your faith. And as the doctor is talking to us about potentially him, you know, dying, organs shutting down, yada yada, yada, um. I literally looked in her face and I rebuked her. Not out loud 'cause I'd been rude, but in my head I rebuked her because I thought, I have two options right now.

I can come into agreement with the doctors and with human understanding of health, or I can come into agreement with the great physician.

And for me, I have had faith for my dad since he got into hospital, and I've also [00:03:00] had faith for my dad since before he went into hospital because he's had multiple health problems over the years. Um, but I've held on to faith because. I know that my god's not done with him yet. If you knew the things my dad has gone through, you'd be surprised that he's still alive.

And for that, I give God thanks. Um, and I trust that he is here for a purpose. But hearing that was so hard, seeing my mom, you know, being in a relationship with him for like almost 40 years, married, like 37 years or something, however long they've been married. Um, it's. Hard and it's challenging. And even now, you know, as we speak, I just got a phone call from my mom.

I'd been to the hospital earlier today that my dad has caught another infection in his lung. Um, right now he can't eat, so he's got a feeding tube, he's got oxygen. 

He can't move his left side of his body, um, [00:04:00] very well. Um, and whenever he gets an infection, he gets very delirious. So he gets confused and his speech slurs and it's just all very complex due to his nouri logical problems. I can never say that word. Don't check me. Um, but I have faith. I might not have faith that can move mountains, but I have faith as small as a mustard seed, and I believe in the new covenant faith as small as a mustard seed.

We allow God to move the mountains. We don't have the mountain moving faith at all times, but we can have the faith small as a e seed that is rooted in the new covenant, rooted in the resurrection of Christ that. Goes before us in ways that we can't quite understand. Um, so I just wanted to share that with you in the sense of I am in a real challenging time right [00:05:00] now with trusting God for my dad, um, trusting God for his ultimate healing, not just you know him.

Surviving and being able to come home. I, I see him, well, I've had dreams about him being, well, I declare it over him and I probably should more, but since he's been in the hospital, I'm like, devil, you've not got my dad. You know? And it's so hard. And I've gone, you know. That night when he went to ICU and we really thought he was gonna pass away that night.

I did break down, um, but I had the peace of God, the pastoral understanding, and I had, I had fear and that was interesting because I've always thought peace. That pastoral understanding, there should just be this transcendent feeling. It's almost like taking a beat, a blocker where all of a sudden your heart stops beating and you feel clear.

Um, I had fear, but. The peace exceeded the fear. So anytime I had the fear, I was sucked right [00:06:00] back into the presence of God, into trusting God for who he really is, believing that my God. Is going to heal my dad. My dad is already healed. That's what I'm having to teach myself. But in the new covenant, my dad is healed and he does have his healing.

It's not praying and begging God to heal my dad. It's coming into agreement that God has already healed my dad. Um, but it's putting all these things into practice, you know, these are things my mom's been telling me for a long time. We've both been trying to put it into, you know, practice, but having a scenario like this, it just rocks your world.

Like, this is my dad, you know, I'm getting married next year. I want to talk me down the aisle. You know, I'm having all these big life changes, changes in my career, changes in my house. Um, I'm literally moving house. I'm moving to a flat, which me and Naz will live in when we get married. Um. [00:07:00] I've got all these amazing things going on in my life and I want to share that with my dad.

Literally like half of my DNA. Um, and it's, it's been really tough. And then it's, you know, moving out. Mom's gonna be on her own. How's she gonna navigate it? But. She's not on her own because she's got the Holy Spirit and it's just having to like consistently think far above principalities and powers. And that's really easy to do when life is okay.

It's not saying that you haven't got things that you are concerned about. Like I remember being in scenarios where. I hate my job or I've got like a friendship problem or I'm a bit low in myself and you know, you're able to kind of navigate through those more temporary, so say temporary things.

Everything's temporary, but you know, the general day-to-day life stuff, you know, feeling a bit overwhelmed about something, you know, I'm gonna [00:08:00] trust God that everything's gonna be okay. And it's not like a Pression Olympics. I'm not trying to say that like. If you're going through those things that you shouldn't feel that type of way, like I know I've been through them, which means that it's really difficult, but when it's like a physical life or death thing.

It's so easy to talk death. It's so easy to come in agreement with what the doctors are saying. It's so easy to think the worst. Even if they're saying something that is like reassuring, but then you like don't trust them. Um, it's easy to go down. The rabbit hole of Google is easy to do anything. Even with me, like I've had multiple health problems and I've got myself into like.

The depth of despair with my life. Thinking that, you know, not necessarily worrying that I'm gonna die, but worrying that it's going to have life altering results on me. Even in some ways doctors have spoken to me about it, about different things I've gone through, um, but I've had to watch my mouth and it's so difficult.

[00:09:00] But now I'm in this situation. God never wanted this situation to happen. But now we are here as believers. Me and my mom have to practice what we have been preaching, and we have to come into agreement with the Holy Spirit. We have to cultivate our relationship. We have to know that he wants to be around us, that we need to be around him, that we can't do this on our own.

Um, and it's really hard, you know, when you're. Getting phone calls from the hospital. You're calling the hospital, you're at the hospital. Um, me and my mom don't have a car, so we're, you know, having to get public transport to the hospital. It's taking up a lot of our days, um, on top of everything else that's going on in our lives.

But our God is a mobile God. He's not stationary. He's not just there. When we open up our Bibles and we have like prayer and study time. He is there through the midst of all of it. And that is what I'm learning right now. And I [00:10:00] just wanted to share that with you. Um, this is a very, like in the moment thing, I don't really tend to do that.

I tend to reflect on something that I've gone through and talk about it. However, I want you guys to pray, and I'm not like suffering in silence, you know? I've like, I've done things on my own. I've dealt with things on my own and there's some things I like to keep private, but when it comes to a family member being sick, he's not sick in the name of Jesus, but a family member going through what he's going through, having all of these infections and stuff, um, complications that wouldn't have.

Happened if he wasn't in hospital, and that's what I find really difficult. I'm like desperate for him to get out. He won't actually go straight out of hospital, he'll go into a rehab unit. But honestly, I am praying for miraculous supernatural healing that my dad walks outta that hospital and comes home [00:11:00] because the way he has just been catching all these infections in hospital, I almost didn't want him to go to another hospital just to get rehab.

I would rather someone come. Into our home and give him rehab here. Um, because it's like, it's really hard. The healthcare system is really messed up. Um, and that's not me judging anyone who's in healthcare. You know, I know that you wanna do your best job and you probably have the frustrations as well. If I'm honest, the way, the way the NHS is set up just doesn't do its due.

Do, girl, you know what I was gonna say? Do. Diligence. There we go. Um, the only place that I actually felt like there was, that was when my dad was in ICU. That's because it's ICU. It's literally intensive care. Um, so you've got. One nurse taking care of two people, and you did feel like he was really being looked after in a ward, [00:12:00] especially because my dad is in a room on his own.

He's not in like the bay where they're constantly in and out of the room. I just feel like he's been left on his own. But I know that my Lord has never forsaken him. Never forgotten him. Um. And I have to trust that he is the king of kings and Lord of lords. And there is nothing that the enemy will try to attack my dad with.

That the Lord can't overcome that the Lord has already overcome. Enemy, you're already defeated. Did you not see Jesus rise again? Um, so yeah, pray for me. Pray for my mom. But most importantly, pray for my dad. Um, pray that his mind. Sees himself well. Um, being ill for a long time really does impact the way that you view yourself and your health, and that's something that we've been praying for my dad for, for a long time.

Um, but yeah, I [00:13:00] tr I trust that there will be someone who sees this video that will pray for him. Um. Believe with me, don't even beg God, declare that he is healed, um, and pray in a place of authority rather than play, pray in a place of, um, defeat. So yeah, I love you guys so much. Thank you for being here throughout everything.

Um, but yeah, I, I need. To feel as though I'm being encouraged. Um, it's, it is really hard. It's like being in your own little bubble with, you know, going to hospital, coming home. You speak to people, you know, I've had my church praying and things, but yeah, anyone that's had a sick fa family member or been sick themselves knows it's like so easy to support, but it's so hard to be there.

In the midst of it, [00:14:00] like, I will never take, um, I will never approach someone being ill in the same way again when someone asks for prayers. Um, and support to, because I think we, we trust God and we might, you know, say that one prayer, but it's almost like because you don't understand it. You almost can't put yourself in their shoes.

And that's like totally understandable because I've not had to have this same level of worry for my dad. Yes, he's had health problems, but it's never been this bad. Um, and it's just life experience that I'll take with me for the rest of my life to be able to support people. Because if you don't know, you don't know, and like there's actually no shame in that.

Like if you've never had to go through someone being ill, how can you actually relate, sympathize, um. But yeah, it's changed my brain chemistry now. Um, so I thank God for that because, you know, it is hard and I think as believers we, [00:15:00] we don't talk enough about being sick and we don't talk enough about how much that impacts someone's day-to-day lives, whether it's the person who is caring for them, or most importantly the person who was actually dealing with it.

Um, we talk a lot about other stuff and I think. On the grand scheme of things. Christianity is very big on healing, very big on all of that. But I think like the realities of what it's like, um, potentially not. So yeah, I haven't got it all figured out, but I know my God does and I thank you for everyone who is praying.

But yeah, I just wanted to update you guys rather than ghost for the next however long. Just know I'm here. I'll give you guys updates as I go. Um, but I probably won't be in like the same capacity, especially because wedding planning, moving, all of that stuff, it's just like a lot at the moment. But yeah. I love you guys so much.

Bye.